


Blue In The Face (And Other Body Parts)

by Dreamshaper, maschinenmensch



Series: Coming Here Often: A Holtzbro Smutventure [2]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Smut, a lot of smut, brought to you by, but not enough smut, poor holtzbert, the dirty old broads of holtzbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-27 04:14:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8386804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamshaper/pseuds/Dreamshaper, https://archiveofourown.org/users/maschinenmensch/pseuds/maschinenmensch
Summary: Erin and Holtzmann have great sex - or had, because all at once, they just can't seem to get to it anymore.





	1. In the Lab

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when you let maschinenmensch and me talk on tumblr. We're sorry. But not really.

Before Holtzmann, Erin had thought that she knew what it was like to be desired by someone; and it had taken barely a month of dating the engineer to realize that she actually had been wrong with this assumption, that she hadn’t known what it truly meant to be desired until she had become aware of the way Holtzmann looked at her.

She didn’t even need to be doing anything special, she had learned fairly quickly; sometimes, she’d just sit at her desk and brood over a book or a paper, until she’d feel Holtzmann’s gaze on her, and would look up, only to stare at the engineer in a way which practically screamed “I want to do you here and now”. And more often than not, that was actually what happened about a minute later, because being looked at that way turned Erin on without fail and, as she thought, quite a bit beyond reason.

If someone had asked her about their sex life (which nobody did, because Abby and Patty certainly did not want to know any details, and she wasn’t quite sure Kevin actually had figured out that Holtzmann and she were together), she would have described it as excellent or awesome; and so, it came as an even bigger shock when all at once, it seemed as if the universe itself was conspiring to keep them from having sex.

When that conspiracy began, Erin had no idea yet how bad it would actually get; she thought it was just a one-time fluke, telling herself that certainly, it had just been an unlucky coincidence.

It had started out the way it so often did, with Erin sitting at her desk in the upstairs lab – at first, she had worked downstairs with Abby and Patty, but the small to medium poofs from the lab had been disconcerting, and she had offered to move her work up there even before Holtzmann and she had started dating, and that certainly hadn’t had anything to do with her developing feelings for the blonde, but had been done for safety reasons only – and working on her equations, until she had felt Holtzmann staring at her again, and had looked up from her work, her eyes meeting the engineer’s across the room.

“You aren’t even aware you’re doing that, are you”, Holtzmann asked, pulling down her glasses a bit so she could look at Erin over their rim; confused, the physicist gave back “doing what?”, only feeling more confused at the huff the blonde let out.

“That… thing”, she then clarified, letting her screwdriver drop onto the table with a metallic clang, “with the pen?”

Her confusion only growing, Erin looked at the pen in her hand, then back up at Holtzmann, and the engineer shook her head, realizing that her girlfriend wasn’t faking this, that she really had no idea.

“You chew it”, she clarified, her eye briefly dropping to Erin’s lips before she met her eyes again, “and… lick it. Sort of. It’s really hot.”

“Um, okay”, Erin gave back, not sure how it could be seen as hot that she was chewing her pen; on the other hand though, she had learned by now that Holtzmann found pretty much everything she did arousing – Hell, the woman had gotten worked up once watching her brush her hair – and so, it didn’t particularly surprise her.

“You find everything I do hot”, she thus pointed out, watching how Holtzmann came to her feet and moved to the physicist’s desk, “you’re hardly an objective judge of this.”

“That’s cause you are hot”, Holtzmann told her, and even though they had been dating for a while now, and she figured she should be used to it, Erin found herself blushing; the engineer smirked, clearly still taking pride in being the reason for Erin’s cheeks taking on this certain lovely shade of red, then unceremoniously dropped down onto the taller woman’s lap, unimpressed by the small “ooff” Erin let out – Holtz was short, but heavier than she had thought at first, with the muscle gained by lugging around heavy equipment and material so much.

“You’re like a proton pack”, Erin pointed out once Holtzmann was comfortable on her lap, “small, heavier than you look, and packing quite a bit of unexpected power.”

“Why thank you, hot stuff”, the blonde replied with a small laugh, making Erin smile; and then, Holtzmann captured her lips in a kiss which turned quite passionate quite fast, the physicist shuddering when she felt Holtzmann shift on her lap, the engineer repositioning herself so she could slide one hand beneath the other woman’s shirt.

She moaned quietly into the engineer’s mouth as their tongues met the moment Holtzmann cupped her breast; it still surprised her how       fast Holtzmann could turn her on, never having experienced this with anyone else before – before Holtzmann, she’d had a difficult time getting turned on, let alone reaching an orgasm – but she enjoyed every moment of it, wrapping her arms around the other woman tightly as they kept kissing and Holtzmann kept caressing her breast.

“Couch”, Erin mumbled the moment the kiss, for now, had ended; and Holtzmann responded quickly, getting off her lap and making her squeak by picking her up on her arms, carrying her the few steps to the couch she’d put in for “necessary afternoon meditation”, as she had put it, and which Abby had quite correctly renamed to “napping and making out” – and making out was what they did, their kiss and touch growing heated quite fast.

Often when they were in bed together after a long day, their lovemaking was slow and gentle; this time, it was quite the opposite, Holtzmann not even bothering to unbutton Erin’s blouse, but simply pushing it up along with her bra, the physicist arching her back when moments later, the blonde’s mouth closed around one nipple while her thumb and index finger focused on the other, entangling her hands in Holtzmann’s hair as she felt the blonde flicker her tongue just the way she liked it.

Spurred on by the positive reaction, Holtzmann slid her other hand down her side until she reached the hem of her pants, quickly moving on to the button; Erin raised her hips for easier access, gasping audibly when immediately, Holtzmann took the hint and pulled her pants down – quite efficiently taking her underwear along, too – the physicist nearly trembling in anticipation as she expected Holtzmann’s skilled touch between her legs any moment now.

And just then, Abby yelled “Guys! Bust!” from downstairs, making Holtzmann flinch back, eyes wide in disbelief, while Erin held back the urge to let out the sort of curse word she normally held back or replaced with much more harmless ones.

“Shoot”, she finally settled on a PG-rated version after all, just to let it out, “ _now_? This couldn’t wait for another half hour?”

“Agreed”, Holtzmann grumbled, reluctantly moving off of Erin and allowing her to get up too so she could pull her pants back up, “talk about bad timing. Let’s bust this ghost fast so we can continue where we left off.”

Eagerly, Erin nodded, then made her way down the stairs while Holtzmann took the fireman’s pole; and neither of them had an idea how difficult it would be for them to actually finish what they’d started this afternoon.

If they had known, they both might have screamed.


	2. Shower Time (Almost)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is my (maschinenmensch's) chapter to tackle.
> 
> Hell hath no fury like two women bored at work one day.
> 
> Please don't kill us. We have families.
> 
> Heh.

“Arghhh,” Erin grumbled, trying hard not to touch anything at the firehouse. She was covered in slime post-bust. Again

_Poor baby. Actually, poor me too,_ Holtzmann mused as she remembered that she was still hot and bothered nearly three hours after the dalliance on the couch.

Erin had made a point of sitting in the back seat of the refurbished hearse to and from the recent bust, knowing that getting close to Holtzmann in their current states would probably scar Patty and Abby for life. Holtz was distracted enough as it was, making a wrong turn on the drive to the bust, drawing Abby’s ire. She also hopped a curb on the way back, causing Patty to hit her head on the car’s ceiling and let loose a string of four-letter words that made Erin blush.

“Here babe, let me help.” Holtzmann gently lifted the proton pack off of Erin’s shoulders, depositing it on its designated wall hanger. It didn’t escape Holtz’s attention that Erin’s breath hitched when her hands brushed her shoulders.

_Shit, I have a feeling I’m going to be sore in a little bit._

“I’m headed to the shower,” Erin announced in a defeated voice.

“You do that Erin. You deserve it!” Patty shouted as she was removing her boots.

_She deserves a whole lot more than that._ Holtzmann smirked.

Before she headed up the stairs, Erin glanced over her shoulder at Holtzmann.

_Oh. It’s *the look*_

“The look” when Erin was heading to the shower at the firehouse (which happened frequently after busts), meant Holtzmann was to wait five minutes to give Erin enough time to get most, if not all of the slime off her body before joining her in the bathroom. It was an attempt to not raise suspicion with Abby and Patty, but Holtzmann was pretty damn sure they knew exactly what was going on, but were choosing not to say anything.

“Welp. Time to do some lab things.” Holtz galloped up the stairs, pretending not to notice Patty rolling her eyes.

Holtzmann sat down at her lab desk. She heard the water in the shower start.

_Five minutes._

Holtzmann tried not to think about Erin’s current state in the shower - naked and probably soaping herself up.

“Hungh,” Holtzmann moaned under her breath. She grabbed a notebook to write or draw in to distract herself.

_Four minutes._

Holtz looked up at the ceiling and let out a deep breath. She glanced down to see she had drawn several pairs of boobs on the pages of her notebook and slammed the cover closed. She squirmed in her stool uncomfortably.

_Three Minutes_

The engineer got up and tried to jog in place, anything to distract herself from the growing fire that seemed to be emanating from her lower half. _Breathe Holtzmann, breathe._

_Two Minutes_

Holtz turned the wrong way and the seam of her jumpsuit rubbed up against her…

“FUCK!” Holtzmann half moaned, half shouted.

“You ok, Holtzy?” She heard Abby’s concerned voice drifting from downstairs.

“Just fine! Slight burn. Just going to run water on it!” Holtz ran to the bathroom, peeling off her clothes as she did so.

_Screw the time limit…_

Holtzmann practically broke the door to the bathroom down, clad only in her boxers, throwing her discarded clothing under the sink. She hurriedly closed the door behind her.

“Holtz! I’ve still got slime in my hair!” Erin shouted from behind the shower curtain.

“Don’t care!” Holtzmann practically ripped off her boxers and threw the curtain back. She looked at the wet, naked form of the physicist and bit her bottom lip.

“Hey, hot stuff.” She winked.

“Get your ass in here and finish what you started.” Erin practically dragged Holtz into the bathtub.

“Yes ma’am mmph-” Holtzmann’s voice was silenced by Erin’s lips. Holtz brought her hands up to wind in Erin’s wet locks, backing her up against the wall directly underneath the shower head.

“Hurry Holtz,” Erin whined as Holtzmann licked water droplets from her neck. “I can’t wait much longer.”

Holtzmann carefully balanced herself on one foot, putting the knee of her opposite leg against the wall directly between Erin’s legs. She began rocking against it while trailing her hand down Holtzmann’s wet stomach, her fingers coming to rest directly on the engineer’s clit.

“Oh god,” Holtzmann mumbled against Erin’s lips.

“Fuck,” Erin breathed as her head fell back against the wall.

Suddenly there was a loud banging noise down the hallway. And then shower spray turned ice cold.

“SHIT!” Holtzmann yelled as the freezing water slid down her back. Her lone leg on the the tub floor slipped and she ungracefully flailed and tumbled out of the bathtub, despite Erin’s best efforts of catching her. She took half the shower curtain down with her.

“OWWWWWW” Holtz yelled as she laid splayed naked on her back, one of her feet hanging over the edge of the tub. _Goddammit!_

Erin hurriedly turned the shower off. “Holtzy, are you ok?” She bent down to touch Holtz’s knee.

“My back. That’s gonna leave a mark!” Holtzmann covered her eyes with one of her arms.

_So much for shower sex._

“Erin are you ok? The water heater blew!” Erin had just enough time to hide her naked body behind the half of the shower curtain that was still standing before Abby burst in. Holtzmann was not so lucky.

“OH FOR GOD’S SAKE!” Abby screamed at the sight of a butt naked Holtzmann on the floor, with a mortified Erin peeking around the shower curtain.

Patty practically ran into the back of Abby, who had screeched to a stop in the doorway.

“Oh hell no. Can you guys stop fucking in here? All four of us use these facilities!”

“Hi Patty. Abby” Holtzmann looked up at the two women from the floor.

“Could someone throw me a fucking towel?”

\--

Erin sighed at the sight of the prone form of her girlfriend, currently passed out on her couch, a heating pad under her back.

After Holtzmann had finally put some clothes on (rather defeatedly), she had spent the next three hours repairing the firehouse’s water heater. She had gotten it to work well enough that ice would no longer come out of the building’s faucets, but lamented she’d have to replace it the following morning. By the time the two women had made it back to Erin’s apartment and devoured the pizza they had picked up on the way home, it was all Holtzmann could do to find Erin’s heating pad and proceed to becoming unconscious shortly thereafter.

Erin gaped at Holtz, who was still wearing her oil stained white tank top, her mouth slightly open, revealing a sliver of her tongue…

_Just stop it…_

She grunted as she grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and draped it over Holtzmann’s body. Erin gently removed her yellow-tinted glasses which were hanging precariously from one of Holtz’s ears and placed them on the coffee table.

_I'd make her come to bed with me, but it’s really unfair to her. But…_

“Good night Holtzy,” Erin said quietly before turning and walking to her bedroom.

After changing into a nightgown, Erin frantically rummaged through one of her bottom dresser drawers, looking for something that she hadn’t used in awhile…

“Ah-ha!” The physicist exclaimed, finally finding the small silver bullet-shaped object she had been seeking.

She settled into bed and positioned herself appropriately.

_This should take the edge off at least…_

She pressed the button on the bottom of the vibrator expecting waves of pleasure to begin coursing through her body.

Nothing.

Erin remembered she had forgotten to buy batteries the last time she went shopping.

“SHIT!”

She threw the vibrator across the room.

 


	3. On the Couch (Sort of)

If Erin had known that the bust interrupting them, the shower mishap and the bad luck with her vibrator had only been the beginning, she would have gone miles and miles to the next open store that one night to get batteries, instead of just going to sleep.

She’d had no idea though, and so, had fallen into an uneasy slumber, plagued by images of a naked Holtzmann and of said naked Holtzmann doing all sorts of amazing things to her; she’d woken up with her thighs sticky from those dreams, but before they had been able to do anything about that, another bust had been called in.

And it only had gotten worse from there.

It seemed as if some higher power had decided that apparently, Erin and Holtzmann had to put their sex life on hold; for the next few days, they were kept busy all day with ghosts to bust and e-mails and calls from the mayor’s office, too tired to do anything else than fall straight into bed by the time they came home each night, barely managing to snuggle up to each other before they went off to dreamland.

With each day that passed, she got more and more frustrated; and she could tell that it was the same for Holtzmann, the engineer’s increasing need to get laid showing through the way explosions in the lab increased not only in number, but from _tiny poof_ to _medium poof_ and how aggressive she was during the busts, as if the ghosts had wronged her personally.

But then, Erin figured, they kind of had, simply by keeping Holtzmann and her from getting any more intimate than brief kisses and innocent cuddles.

_That’s just not fair,_ she thought to herself as they were called to yet another bust right after breakfast, _why couldn’t this endless barrage of ghosts have started_ before _I discovered how amazing Holtz is in bed? I was doing fine not getting laid for months on end before her, but now I can’t go back to that!_

“This is all your fault”, she grumbled at Holtzmann as they put on their coveralls and readied their gear, making sure Abby and Patty weren’t within earshot while Holtz gave her a confused look.

“You’re too good in bed!” Erin continued, the engineer’s eyebrows shooting up to say Hi to her hairline, “I got used to having awesome sex, and now it’s being taken away!”

“It is not being taken away, psh”, Holtzmann protested at once, clearly not liking how final this sounded, “just… postponed. Just wait. I’ll get you laid so good soon, you’ll scream.”

“Please do this where we can’t hear it”, Abby deadpanned, having been unfortunate enough to just approach when Holtz had made her promise; they both coloured in response, exchanging a look which was an odd mixture of mortified and aroused, then forced themselves to focus fully on the bust, not wanting to risk injury by going in distracted.

* * *

 

At least, Erin thought as they arrived back at HQ, the bust had been finished fairly quickly and, miracle upon miracles, nobody had gotten slimed; and for the first time in four days, they actually had some free time after that bust, what with it having ended faster than expected.

“Erin, sweet, lovely Erin”, Holtzmann said the moment they had gotten out of Ecto-1, “I need your help up in the lab. Now.”

“You not even gonna take off your coveralls?” Abby wanted to know, amused, while Patty had already gone off, carrying two of their proton packs to the designated hooks on the wall, “you must need it pretty bad by now.”

“Shut up”, Erin mumbled, blushing; Holtzmann just snorted, then grasped Erin’s hand and practically ran up the stairs with her, the physicist struggling to keep up.

“Holtzmann, slow down”, she finally brought out, shaking her head, “if you cause me to twist an ankle now, that won’t help you get laid, you know.”

“Can’t slow down”, Holtzmann half said, half panted, already pulling her over to the couch, “must have sex now. Holtz horny.”

“No Hulk speak”, Erin still had time to say, then the engineer was pushing her down onto the couch and straddled her and kept her from saying anything else by kissing her quite harshly; usually, Erin was more into slow and gentle kisses, but her own need was so big by now that this just seemed fitting, and she responded just as harsh, making Holtzmann moan by biting her bottom lip, not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to hurt.

Erin heard fabric rip, and briefly was glad that she hadn’t bothered to change out of her coveralls, figuring those were easier replaced than her regular clothing; she worked just as quick to at first slide Holtzmann’s jumpsuit down her arms, until the upper part dangled around her waist, then moved both hands beneath the crop top the engineer was wearing beneath the suit, now thankful that Holtzmann hardly ever bothered with a bra as she cupped her breasts.

She felt Holtzmann gasp against her mouth at the contact, feeling the wetness between her own legs increase at the sound, and she thrust her hips upwards, the engineer quickly getting the hint and pressing her leg between Erin’s, making it her turn to gasp.

“I love it when you make such sounds”, the blonde mumbled, moving slightly so she could start kissing Erin’s neck, well aware of the effect this always had on the physicist; when Erin let out a low moan in response, and ran her hands up and down Holtzmann’s back, the engineer only felt encouraged more, biting down just hard enough to elicit another gasp before she trailed her tongue over the sensitive skin, smirking as she felt Erin shudder beneath her.

She pushed up with her leg again, earning yet another gasp, but knowing that this wouldn’t be enough, not in the long run; before she had a chance to start removing Erin’s pants though, the physicist was faster, her hands sliding down Holtzmann’s back and firmly gripping the coveralls, pulling them down along with her underwear moments later.

“I need to touch you”, Erin breathed into her ear, the breathless, aroused tone combined with warm breath on the sensitive skin making Holtzmann’s heart skip a beat; she felt Erin’s hand slide from her back to her side down her thigh, and just then…

“Aw _hell no_!” Patty cried, and Erin yelped and jumped, and Holtzmann yelped too, even though it was for another reason – the physicist had moved with enough force to make her lose her balance, and she toppled off, falling off the couch and crashing to the floor. This really was turning into some sort of habit.

“Holtzy”, Patty was lamenting, covering her eyes with one hand, “I did not need to see your skinny white ass _again_! You oughta put a sign or something on the door if you’re doin the nasty up here, Jesus!”

“I’ll let you know I have a very nice ass”, Holtzmann grumbled, hurrying to pull her coveralls back up enough so they would actually cover her, “Erin agrees, don’t you, babe?”

All Erin could do was squeak, her face such a deep shade of crimson that Holtzmann momentarily feared she might have an aneurysm; realizing how deeply embarrassed the physicist was, Patty mumbled an excuse and beat a hasty retreat, Holtzmann letting out a groan as she flopped down onto the floor again, covering her face with her hands.

Well. That certainly had killed the mood.


	4. Five-Alarm Fire (Not So Much)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cackles*

Erin fiddled with the office supplies on her desk. Rearranging them neatly was something that calmed her. She had found herself doing it more often. Especially lately.

She glanced up to look across the lab at Holtzmann, who was hunched over her work area and working with her hands. Those nimble, talented hands.

She stifled a groan.

The two of them had mostly stayed apart since Patty had interrupted them on the couch hours earlier. Partly because of embarrassment, partly because both of them knew they were walking powderkegs at this point.

Erin looked at her watch.

_ It’s almost five. I think we’ve been here long enough. _

“Hungry?” Erin walked up next to Holtzmann who had been concentrating on assembling some new contraption for the last several hours. Holtz turned to her and licked her lips. Slowly.

“For food Holtzmann. Food.”  _ If she licks her lips like that again though I’m going to be tempted to throw her on the table, Patty or Abby be damned… _

“Yeah, I’m done here E.” Holtzmann took off her goggles and work gloves and tossed them on the table top. “What are you hungry for?”

Erin just stood and looked at Holtz, glassy-eyed.  _ Willpower fading… _

Holtzmann seemed to catch on that if they didn’t leave now, they probably never would. And the bed at Erin’s apartment was so much more comfortable than any surface at the firehouse.

“C’mon, let’s go to the taqueria around the corner from your place. I want nachos.” Holtz threw off her lab coat and put on the leather jacket that had been hanging off the back of her chair.

As Erin and Holtz left the firehouse, Holtzmann firmly grasping her girlfriend’s hand, they heard Abby shout at them from behind their backs.

“Get her laid Holtzy. You two are becoming insufferable.”

Erin turned to say something, but Holtz pulled her to the door. 

“Don’t worry! You’ll be able to hear her screaming from Connecticut!” 

Erin turned red as she heard Abby and Patty cackle before the door shut behind them.

\--

Erin hummed as she took a bite of her enchilada.

_ This is so good… _

She looked across the table as her girlfriend put a cheese covered chip into her mouth. A string of cheese hung over her bottom lip. Holtz stuck her tongue out to pull it back into her mouth and then proceeded to lick off the sour cream and guacamole that covered her fingers.

Erin gaped, a forkful of enchilada frozen mid-air. 

_ Oh goddddddd _

Holtzmann looked up, her thumb still in her mouth. She removed it from between her lips with a loud pop.

“See something you like?”  

“Holtzzzzz…” Erin felt lightheaded. It took all her willpower not to jump across the table and make out with her girlfriend in front of everyone in the restaurant.

“Hmm…” Holtzmann grabbed another chip and popped it in her mouth. “I’m hungry for dessert, how about you?”

Erin never asked for a check so fast in her life.

\--

“Hurry up and unlock the damn door Erin!”

“I’m trying you doofus, but your hand down my pants is distracting.”

After they had settled the check at the restaurant in nearly record time, Holtzmann had practically dragged Erin down the block by her hand in the rush to get to her apartment. Erin was fumbling with her keys at her front door as Holtz was hugging her from behind, one hand snaking down the inside of the front of her jeans.

“I want you so bad baby,” Holtz whined and licked the inside of Erin’s ear.

“Unf, Holtz…”

Suddenly, the key clicked in the lock and the front door opened with a bang. It threw both women off balance, Erin grabbing the front of Holtzmann’s leather jacket, causing them to tumble onto the floor of Erin’s living room. Holtz landed on top, their faces inches apart.

“Holtz -” Erin was silenced by the engineer’s lips, her hands tugging on her auburn hair forcefully. Holtzmann’s knee nestled between her legs and thrust upward.

“Geezzzzz, Holtzy close the front door! Shit!” Holtzmann’s mouth had moved down to her neck, where she bit down hard enough that it most likely would leave a mark she’d be able to see in the morning.

“I really don’t care who sees my skinny white ass at this point babe.” She began pulling at the edge of Erin’s shirt in an attempt to pull it off.

“Close the fucking door Holtzmann.” Erin’s voice had an edge to it that made Holtz’s eyes go wide. She scrambled backward on her knees and closed the front door with a satisfying slam. She looked back at Erin, eyes glazed over, breathing heavily.

“I hope your downstairs neighbor doesn’t mind it when I fuck you so hard we fall through the floorboards.”

“Get your skinny white ass over here Holtz and make us land into the sub-basement.”

Holtzmann practically pounced on top of the physicist, reattaching her mouth to Erin’s neck. Erin grabbed the lapels of her girlfriend’s leather jacket and used the leverage to flip Holtz onto her back.

“Jesus, Erin.”

“Shut up. Just shut up.” Erin kissed Holtz forcefully, causing a strangled moan to escape from the back of the engineer’s throat. Erin quickly undid the belt and button on Holtzmann’s tweed pants, and stroked her through her boxers, which were completely soaked through.

“Please baby, oh god,” Holtzmann whimpered against Erin’s lips.

BZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

The fire alarm blaring in the apartment building was so loud it drowned out the shocked screams of both women. Erin jerked her hand out of Holtzmann’s pants and fell backward. Holtzmann covered her ears, being extremely sensitive to loud noises, and curled up into the fetal position.

“Holtzy, come on. We have to get out of here. There could be a fire in another unit.” Erin stood up and offered Holtzmann her hand.

“I already feel like dying. Just leave me here.”

Erin grabbed one of her girlfriend’s hands and pulled her up into a sitting position.

“It’s probably a prank - a kid pulling the alarm. We’ll be back inside in a few minutes. Come on.” 

Holtzmann grunted as she got up to her feet and followed Erin out the front door. It wasn’t until she was already down the hallway that she noticed her pants were still unbuttoned, her belt jiggling against her leg. As she readjusted herself, one of Erin’s elderly neighbors shot her a dirty look. 

“What? Haven’t you ever been interrupted in the middle of hot, dirty sex?”

Erin tugged Holtzmann by the hand, ignoring the shocked look on the old lady’s face.

\--

Erin put her face into the collar of Holtz’s leather jacket and breathed it in, smelling a combination of cinnamon, oil and smoke that was just Holtzmann. The night had become brisk quickly, and Holtzmann had slipped her jacket over her shoulders when she saw her shivering. She sighed at looked over at her girlfriend who was sitting on a nearby curb, head between her legs.

They had been standing outside Erin’s apartment for nearly three hours. Apparently, the fire alarm was not due to a prank but an actual blaze. A unit three floors up occupied by three male college students had decided it would be a good idea to cook a turkey in their oven. Unfortunately they had drank so many cheap beers while the bird was cooking they passed out. They were finally woken up by the fire alarm, their oven in flames, the turkey a charred disaster. 

Erin watched as the firemen began wrapping up the hoses that they had used to put out the small fire. She noticed several other tenants of the apartment building slowly making their way back inside. The physicist walked over and put her hand on Holtzmann’s shoulder.

“We can go back inside Holtzy. Come on.”

Holtz gave her a wan smile as she stood up. She could tell by her girlfriend’s eyes that she was both exhausted and dejected.

Erin slipped her hand inside Holtz’s as they walked down the hallway. She coughed loudly as she opened the door to her apartment.

“God, it’s going to smell like scorched poultry for weeks in here.” She frowned as Holtzmann dragged her feet, headed directly into her bedroom.

Erin followed and watched as Holtz jumped and face planted directly on top of the bed. The engineer made a drawn out grumbling sound into the duvet.

“Holtzmann…” Erin sighed and sat next to her. Holtz turned her face to look directly at her.

“I’m becoming a monk. This is ridiculous.”

“Shush, you’re just tired and frustrated.”

“AND HORNY AS FUCK. AAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.”

Erin winced when she heard her upstairs neighbor pound on the floor above them. It was past midnight, and she was sure no one wanted to hear Holtzmann shout about their bad luck as of late when it came to her sex life.

“Get dressed for bed. We’ll have some cuddles and take care of this after a good night’s sleep ok?” She ruffled Holtzmann’s hair.

Holtz turned unto her back, her bright blue eyes captivating Erin’s.

“We’ll laugh about this one day, won’t we?”

Erin half-smiled. “Sure we will Holtzy.”

She’d regret saying that for longer than she should have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As an aside, the dumb bros leaving a turkey in the oven and practically burning the apartment complex down thing actually is based on real-life. It happened to me where I grew up. And trust me, the whole complex smelled awful for days afterward.


	5. In the Library (Shush)

“So did you get her laid last night?” Abby asked right after saying good morning; the only response she got was that Holtzmann groaned and let her head drop down onto the table while Erin hid her face in her hands, the researcher’s eyes going wide as she realized what this meant.

“No freaking way!” she cried out, by now not sure anymore if she should still be amused by this constant bad fortune or if she should start pitying her friends, “what happened?!”

“Fire alarm”, Erin groaned while Holtzmann raised her head again, giving a more detailed explanation of events.

“Dudebros, in fact”, she told Abby, “who thought it’d be a good idea to make turkey and then forgot about it. So don’t be surprised if Erin smells like poultry the next few weeks.”

Erin glared at the blonde in response, but didn’t try to contradict her; she just sighed, and took a sip of her coffee, shrugging when Abby asked her what the plan for the day was (and if she could get any work done “in this state”, as the researcher put it, a question Erin decided she wouldn’t answer).

“Nothing special”, she said instead of dignifying the implication that her frustration would have an impact on her work, “I might head out to the library, there’s some stuff I need to look up and don’t have the books for here.”

“Take Holtzy with you”, Patty threw in, making them both look at her, “that girl is making things go boom up there on the best of days, and if you didn’t get any last night _again_ , I don’t trust her around all the stuff up there!”

On any other day, Holtzmann would have protested, and would have claimed that she knew what she was doing; she still felt frustrated and all too horny though, and so she just let out a vaguely agreeing noise, this being more of an indication how bad things were than anything else could have been.

“You might get bored”, Erin warned her, even though she did like the thought of Holtz going with her, enjoying each minute they got to spend together, “I tend to get lost in the books. Like with my equations on the whiteboard.”

“It’s a library”, Holtzmann replied with a shrug, “I’m sure I’ll find something to do. When do you wanna go?"

“After breakfast?” Erin gave back, mirroring Holtzmann’s shrug, “there might be less people there before noon, we’ll have peace and quiet.”

The engineer nodded this time, taking another sip of her coffee afterwards (and wondering if perhaps, it wouldn’t be smarter to drink some herbal tea instead, just to calm herself); Erin gave her a smile, her own dismay about the continuously interrupted lovemaking for the moment forgotten as she looked forward to library time with Holtz, realizing this was the first time they would go there together.

* * *

 

Just as Erin had predicted, the library was mostly empty when they arrived there; the librarian gave Holtzmann a disapproving look, clearly not used to having mad-scientist types with wild hair, her usual odd combination of clothes and yellow glasses in her sacred halls, made no comment though, the look she gave Holtzmann saying more than enough though.

“Dr Gilbert”, she greeted Erin, the engineer briefly surprised to see that the woman knew her partner by name, then figuring that Erin probably had spent a lot of her time here before the start of the Ghostbusters, painfully aware of the lack of close friends in the physicist’s life before they all had found each other, “it’s been a while, I hope you are doing well! And you brought a friend, too.”

“This is Dr Jillian Holtzmann”, Erin told the elder lady in response, smiling, prompting Holtzmann to put on a charming smirk as well, “my girlfriend. And yes, it’s been a while, we’ve been quite busy with the Ghostbusters so…”

The elder lady looked somewhat taken aback at Erin introducing Holtzmann as her girlfriend, but once more refrained from making any comment; she just asked if she could help Erin find anything or if she knew where what she needed was, the physicist reassuring her that she knew, grasping Holtzmann’s hand afterwards and leading the way, the blonde obediently trotting along behind her.

“That lady looked a bit shocked when you said I’m your girlfriend”, Holtzmann pointed out once they were out of hearing range of said lady, amused; Erin smiled, and shrugged, giving her hand a squeeze – and studiously not thinking about said hand anywhere else on her body, no Sir – already scanning the labels above the aisles for the one she needed as she replied. “Yeah, well, I came here a lot when I still worked at Columbia, and I think I only mentioned Phil to her once, and never brought him. So she perhaps thought I made him up and that I’m straight as a board.”

“Well you proved her wrong”, Holtzmann snickered, making Erin giggle and nod – before they both remembered where they were and forced themselves to be quiet, the physicist quickly locating the right aisle and making her way there, still holding Holtzmann’s hand as her eyes scanned the backs of the books for the right one.

Once she had found the books she needed, Erin moved to one of the desks and spread out there, starting to take notes in the notebook she had brought along, and just like she had warned Holtz, she got lost in her work pretty quickly, not even noticing how the engineer wandered off after a while to look at the other books the library offered.

She managed to keep busy for an hour, then slowly started to get bored; Erin gave no sign of getting done anytime soon though, completely focused on her work, and for the sake of her progress, Holtzmann did try to let her work in peace.

She honestly tried. For about another ten minutes.

Then she realized that no one else was in their general vicinity, and her horniness flared up like a gasoline can into which a match had been tossed, and all good intentions were burned to ash in the sudden heat of her desire.

Quickly glancing around to make sure there really wasn’t anyone in their general area, Holtzmann moved to where Erin sat bent over one of the books; she stopped behind her and started massaging her shoulders, feeling her gut clench at the low groan Erin let out in response.

“Aw, that feels good”, Erin sighed, shuddering when the blonde’s thumbs found a particularly sore spot – before Holtzmann’s hands slid down her front, into her blouse, and her eyes went wide.

“Holtz!” she then hissed, remembering in the last second to keep her voice low, “what are you doing?!”

“Massaging”, Holtzmann replied innocently, giving a squeeze with both hands, not enough to hurt, but enough to make Erin jump and suck in air with a sharp hiss through grit teeth, “also, I want to show you something. Way back there. Come with me.”

This was madness, Erin thought to herself as she came to her feet the moment Holtzmann had – sadly – pulled her hands back, in a public place like this; pre-Holtzmann, she would have fainted at the mere thought, but apparently, being with the engineer had not only made her less uptight, but more daring, as well, for she wasn’t mortified at all, but highly turned on.

_But then, you’ve been turned on for the past few days,_ she thought to herself as she let Holtzmann drag her to one of the aisles at the far back of the library, were no one else was around, _so she could probably suggest doing you on the table right there in the lobby and you’d let her._ “Oh God Holtz just do me.”

“About to, hot stuff”, Holtzmann gave back, making her realize that she had said that last thought out loud; any other day, she would have been mortified, but this time, she didn’t care the slightest, just letting it happen that Holtzmann led her to the middle of the far back aisle, then pushed her against the shelf and kissed her deeply, simultaneously bringing up her knee and grinding it against Erin’s crotch, making her gasp into her mouth.

Hurriedly, Holtzmann moved one to hand to unbutton enough of Erin’s blouse to give her access to her breasts; she slid her hand into the physicist’s bra, making her shudder as she cupped her breast, then pinched her nipple between her thumb and index finger, and Erin let out a whine, prompting the engineer to raise an eyebrow at her.

“Quiet”, she then mumbled, simultaneously moving to kiss her throat, which didn’t make remaining quiet exactly easier, “we are at a library, Erin. Wouldn’t want to upset the books.”

She pushed her knee up again as she simultaneously ran her tongue up Erin’s throat to her earlobe; Erin let out an unarticulated “Hngh” sound – before she placed her hands firmly against Holtzmann’s shoulders, and pushed her backwards until her back hit the shelf behind her, with the intention to kiss her deeply and get some revenge for how worked up Holtzmann had gotten her with just a few pushes of her knee and touches of her hand.

Holtzmann hit the shelf harder than Erin had planned though, and before she could do more than breathlessly look at her, a bunch of books fell from the top of said shelf and rained down on them, smacking to the floor, the loud noise this created mixed with the yelp both women let out.

And a moment later, hurried footsteps could be heard, causing Erin to let out a string of four-letter words as she hurried to button her blouse up again, failing to do so thanks to how much her hands shook; and before she could get more than two buttons done, the librarian and a bunch of patrons came rushing into the aisle, coming to an almost screeching halt as they took in the scene.

And what a scene it had to be, Erin thought to herself, mortified, while Holtzmann wasn’t quite sure if her head or her shoulder hurt more, where the books had struck her on their way down; here they were, two flushed women with messed up hair, in a pile of books they had caused to fall from the shelf, her blouse partially undone, both of them breathing heavier.

“Dr Gilbert”, the librarian finally said, full of disapproval, making Erin’s blush deepen, “this is a library!”

Erin just cleared her throat, and turned away a bit to finish buttoning up; Holtzmann had started to rub her shoulder now, grimacing, holding back a sigh of dismay as they had failed to reach that certain point in their intimacy _again_ , asking herself how much longer they would have to endure this.


	6. Eating Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're the absolute worst...

_I can’t believe they confiscated my library card._

Erin glumly put her briefcase down on her desk, having arrived back at the firehouse after their disastrous trip to the library far earlier than expected. She looked over at Holtzmann, who had sat down in Kevin’s unoccupied office chair, rubbing a small bruise that was forming over her right eye.

“Babe, can you help me get my jacket off? My shoulder still stings.”

Erin stood up and walked quickly to where Holtz was sitting. She gingerly slipped the engineer's leather jacket off her shoulders, noting that she hissed when she pulled her right arm out of its sleeve.

“Let me see Holtz.”

“No, it’s ok. Just a little stiff AAAAAAUGH.” Holtz yelped when Erin slipped her t-shirt off her shoulder. She saw a purple bruise that was forming that started near her collarbone and traveled halfway down her upper arm.

“Geez, Holtz. We need to put some ice on that.”

“Oh my god, what did you guys do? I didn’t know you were into that rough stuff!” Abby and Patty had come back from the small firehouse kitchen and saw Erin gently rubbing Holtz’s increasingly purpling shoulder.

“This isn’t what it looks like,” Erin stammered.

“Nope, this wasn’t due to a sex act per se. More like Dr. Gilbert got a little too heated and slammed me into the bookstacks, resulting in about seven copies of the Hebrew Bible falling on top of me. In hardcover no less,” Holtzmann said, slightly irritated.

“Well at least you didn’t have half your tits out for the world to see and get your library card taken away. Besides, it was your idea Dr. Holtzmann to try to do me at the library.”

“You didn’t put up much of a protest if I recall.”

“Well how could I when you had your hands down my - “

“Woah, woah ladies!” Patty shouted over the bickering women, who stopped and turned to look at her. “Look I know you’re both horny as hell, but maybe don’t take it out on one another? At least, not in this way.”

“Whatever, I’m going upstairs.” Holtzmann huffed and bolted up the staircase.

Erin frowned. “What did I do in a previous life to deserve this?”

“You musn’t have been a very good person to get crotch-blocked like you have been lately.” Patty quipped.

Abby snorted.

\--

Erin highlighted some of the notes she had taken before they had been booted out the library half-heartedly, her head being held up by one of her hands. She heard footsteps approaching her and knew it was Holtz, just by the cadence of the engineer’s goofy gait.

_I’m just going to ignore her for the time being, we’ve gotten into enough trouble today as it is._

She heard a scratching noise on her desk and looked up to see a Hershey’s Kiss being pushed across it. A bunch of straws had been taped together, one end pushing the candy towards Erin, the other end held by Holtzmann several feet away.

Erin couldn’t help but smile and blush slightly.

“Holtzy sorry,” the engineer mumbled, giving her girlfriend her best puppy dog look with her bright blue eyes.

“Get over here you doofus.”

Holtzmann dropped the straws and skipped over to Erin, planting a relatively chaste kiss on her lips.

“I’m sorry for getting pissy too. I think we’re both losing our minds.”

“Ah, well that would indicate I had a functioning mind to begin with. You should know by now I lost mine years ago.” Holtzmann flashed a toothy grin.

“I’m hungry. How about I make us some grilled cheese?”

“Have I told you how much I worship the very air you breathe?”

“Stop being silly and let’s go.” Erin grabbed Holtzmann’s hand (making sure it wasn’t the one attached to her bruised shoulder), and led her to the kitchen in the back of the building.

“Don’t burn anything down. Literally or figuratively,” Abby shouted at them.

\--

Erin placed two plates on the small dining room table - a grilled cheese with tomato for herself, and a grilled cheese sans crust, cut into triangles with three pickle spears on the side for Holtzmann.

_Is this when you know you’re in deep? When you know your girlfriend’s food idiosyncrasies by heart?_

“Thanks hot stuff,” Holtz exclaimed before taking a large bite of her sandwich.

Erin sipped her glass of water as she watched Holtzmann eat like this was the last grilled cheese on earth.

_I have no idea how she doesn’t have constant heartburn eating like that._

Erin was lost in her thoughts while slowing chewing on her sandwich. She had finished half of it when she heard Holtzmann push her chair back from the table.

“Finished?”

Holtzmann tilted her head and grinned lopsidedly.

“Not yet.”

The engineer dropped to the floor, lifted the tablecloth with a flourish, and scooted under the small table.

“Holtz, what on earth are you doing - EEP!” Erin felt her girlfriend’s hands run slowly up her bare legs.

“You.” came a low voice from underneath her.

“Holtzmann, Abby and Patty are just on the other side of the wall!”

Holtz poked her head out from under the tablecloth, resting it on Erin’s upper thighs.

_She looks ridiculous._

“So? Eat your sandwich while I’m eating you out. Just don’t choke.”

Holtzmann popped her head back under the tablecloth and started to push Erin’s skirt up.

_I should stop her, but oh my god, this might be one of the hottest things I’ve ever done…_

She felt Holtzmann slowly placing wet kisses up the inside of her thighs, taking turns with each leg. She rubbed her calves as she did so, resulting in a slow moan escaping her lips.

Suddenly without warning, Holtz licked her through her underwear.

“Aughhhh shit,” Erin whimpered, chewing the inside of her mouth to prevent herself from shouting.

“You smell so good babe,” she heard Holtz murmur from below her. “And you’re so wet. Did I do that to you?”

“God Holtz, you know you did. Just, please….”

“Please what?” she could hear the wolfish grin on her girlfriend’s face.

 _You asshole._ “I need your mouth on me Holtzmann. Please, oh god....”

Holtz hooked two fingers into the side of her underwear and pushed it to the side to allow her tongue to lightly flick her clit.

Erin’s head fell forward, her hands gripping the tablecloth so hard she nearly tore it in two.

“Fuck, Holtzmann. Eat me out until I stop screaming.”

Just as she felt Holtzmann’s warm breath at her entrance, there was a noise behind her.

“Hey Erin! Where’s Holtzy?”

It was Kevin.

“OH SHIT!” came the loud shout from under the table, followed by a jolt so hard it knocked Erin’s water glass over.

Erin felt Holtzmann fall backward, and heard an agonized groan.

“Holtz!” Erin shouted, having enough piece of mind to readjust her skirt and underwear before getting up and looking around the edge of the table. She saw Holtzmann’s head poking out from under the tablecloth, her eyes glassy and staring blankly at the ceiling.

Kevin frowned. “Under the table isn’t a very good hiding place you know. I think Erin is embarrassed for you Holtz. Look how red her face is.”

Erin turned around, exasperated.

“Kevin, just go. Go.” She had to grab his beefy shoulder and spin him around in order to get him out of the room.

Erin kneeled next to the prone form of her girlfriend. She could hear Kevin in the background telling Abby, “They’re acting all weird again!”

She lightly brushed some of Holtz’s messy blonde curls off her forehead and noticed a large bruise forming on the crown of her head.

“Jesus Holtzy. Are you ok?”

“You know it’s true what they depict in cartoons. I am seeing birds spinning around my head right now.” She groaned and covered her eyes.

Erin sighed and squeezed the engineer’s shoulder.

“Erin?”

“Yeah Holtz?”

“I’m seeing two of you right now. Can I be the cheese to your bread?”

Holtzmann passed out.


	7. Revving Up

For the rest of that day and most of the next, Erin forgot all about her perpetual state of horniness – and her confiscated library card –, too concerned about Holtzmann to worry about these things; as it turned out, Holtzmann actually had hit the table hard enough to give herself a concussion, and even though she, in true Holtzmann fashion, insisted that she was perfectly fine, Erin refused to let her do anything but get some rest on the couch for those one and a half days.

“Okay, I need to get some work done”, Holtzmann claimed on the morning after her full day on the couch, “I’m fiiiine, Erin, I swear. But I won’t be if I don’t get to do some stuff today. You know I get cranky if I can’t build!”

“Work on something which will not make the firehouse go poof then in case you start seeing double again”, Erin conceded with a sigh – she knew Holtzmann, and knew that trying to talk her out of this would just be a waste of time, breath, and get on both their nerves, without accomplishing anything.

“Will do!” Holtzmann beamed at once, prompting Erin to give her a look of surprise, having expected more protest than that, but before she could ask, the engineer went on, giving quite the good explanation for her agreement. “I’ll work on Ecto-3 then, that’s the most harmless thing I have around.”

Erin wondered if a motorcycle could explode when it was just standing there with the engine off, but decided not to question this for now; instead, she nodded, glad that this had been resolved so quickly and without discussion, leaning in for a brief kiss afterwards, both of them smiling by the time she pulled back again.

“Have fun”, Erin said, the engineer enthusiastically reassuring her that she would before she practically skipped away, to the garage; Erin watched her go with a fond smile, then moved to her own desk to get some work done, trying hard not to think about Holtzmann’s nimble hands working on the finer parts of the motorcycle.

_If she’s well enough to work,_ she thought to herself as she pretended to go through some notes, not quite sure if she fooled anyone, but not really caring, either, _perhaps she’s well enough for other activities after work._

She blushed a bit as she wondered why not even in her thoughts, she could simply say “having sex” or “getting laid”; that ability only seemed to be present whenever Holtzmann was turning her on beyond reason, and her blush deepened as she thought back to the moment the engineer had been under the table and she practically had begged her to go down on her.

Only Holtzmann would ever make her act like this, she thought to herself, clearing her throat in an attempt to get the images out of her mind; with a conscious effort, she forced herself to focus on her work, and soon, her mind had wandered far from anything X-rated as she got lost in her equations and the physics of the paranormal, barely noticing how time flew by until Abby called out to her and tore her out of her calculations, asking her if she wanted to order lunch with Patty and her.

“Yeah, sure”, Erin gave back, stomach growling at the thought of food, as if to remind her she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast, “wait, just let me check if Holtzmann wants something, too.”

Abby made an agreeing noise, and the physicist took the time to neatly align her pen to her notebook before she got up from her seat; she made her way to the garage, already hearing the music before she was even close, and the sounds of Holtzmann tinkering with the bike, smiling to herself as she walked the rest of the short distance and opened the door.

The music was turned up quite loud, so Holtzmann could actually hear it over the sound of her work, and so, she didn’t hear Erin the door open; and the words Erin had been planning to say died on her lips as she stood there and simply stared, unable to look away, fire flaring up in her mid-section and spreading all through her body.

Holtzmann had shrugged off the top part of her overall, having it dangling loosely around her waist, and was wearing nothing but an oil-stained, white undershirt on top; said shirt gave Erin quite the good view of her toned arms and shoulders, and the physicist’s breath hitched when Holtzmann, completely unaware of her presence, pulled the shirt up to wipe at her face with it.

Finally snapping out of the daze seeing Holtzmann like this had put her in, Erin kicked the door close, with a bit more force than strictly necessary; the bang this created got the engineer’s attention, but before she could do more than look over, Erin practically had jumped her, and kissed her quite harshly, practically ramming her tongue into the other woman’s mouth.

Not that Holtzmann was complaining, though.

She kissed Erin back at once, pulling her closer and moving one hand to entangle in her hair; on any other day, Erin would have been perfectly aware of the fact that her girlfriend’s hands were greasy, and would have stopped her, but in this moment, she couldn’t care less, didn’t even protest when, a few moments of harsh, hungry kissing later, the engineer’s hands moved to the front of her blouse and simply ripped it open, buttons flying everywhere.

Erin could feel the grease and oil now as Holtzmann’s hands slid to embrace her, pull her even closer, but still couldn’t find it within herself to care; all she could focus on was their kiss, and the engineer’s touch, pressing herself against her, unable to hold back a moan when one of Holtzmann’s hands slid down to give her butt a rather firm squeeze. (And left a rather clear hand-shaped stain on the light fabric of her jeans, but still, not caring.)

Eager to reciprocate, Erin let her hands glide beneath the engineer’s shirt, cupping her breasts, the way Holtzmann groaned into the still ongoing kiss only turning her on more; she brought up her knee to grind it up between the other woman’s legs, earning another groan for her efforts – before Holtzmann pushed her back, then lifted her up, carrying her the few steps to the motorbike and sitting her down on it, all without breaking the kiss, quite the feat in Erin’s eyes.

Realizing that it was becoming difficult to breathe, she finally did pull back though, and Holtzmann immediately moved to kiss her neck, one hand working on the button and zipper of her pants while the other massaged and caressed her breasts, Erin unable to keep the tremble out of her voice as she moaned “Oh God, yes, I want you so bad”, trying to push her hips forward, against her girlfriend’s hand.

She felt the world shift beneath her when Holtzmann got her pants open at last and slid her hand inside, but still didn’t care; the engineer let out an audible groan at the wetness she encountered between Erin’s legs, and then the world shifted again and suddenly there was a loud clanging and banging and they both fell.

Too late, Erin realized that not the world had been moving beneath her, but the bike, and said bike had now fallen over, taking her down with it, the treacherous thing, the air getting knocked out of her as she partly landed on the floor and partly on the bike itself, some edgy part digging into her back and making her yelp in pain.

“Oh shit, oh shit”, she heard Holtzmann say in a slightly panicked voice as she covered her face with her hands and groaned – this couldn’t be true, she thought to herself, they didn’t get just interrupted _again_ , and by a stupid inanimate object this time, no less, “are you okay?!”

“Fine”, Erin grumbled, letting it happen that Holtzmann helped her to her feet, “but that completely killed the mood. Again. ARGH!”

Holtzmann just sighed in response, then took another close look to make sure Erin really was okay; the physicist sighed once more, belatedly remembering why she had come here in the first place, giving her partner another unhappy look, one which was returned with just as much dismay.

“At least I didn’t get concussed this time”, the blonde then said, glad when Erin managed a small smile; she nodded, then asked about lunch at last, Holtzmann shrugging in response.

“Yeah, sure, why not” she gave back, “if we can’t get laid, at least let’s have something unhealthy to eat, right?”

Erin groaned, and buried her face in her hands again.


	8. Jailbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this is maschinenmensch - sorry that this chapter took longer than normal to get posted. The last couple of days have been rather crazy for me, and I'm somewhat sleep deprived. Which would explain why this chapter is rather bat-shit crazy. Enjoy!

“Hold still.”

“I’m trying but your hands are cold. Did you stick them in the freezer for an hour?”

Holtzmann raised an eyebrow as she cleaned the cut on Erin’s back that she received after the tumble off the motorcycle. “I can’t help it if you still haven’t cooled off.”

“Shut it Holtz. I am so beyond irritated on several levels right now.”

“Hmm…” Holtzmann finished dabbing the antiseptic with a cotton ball on Erin’s wound. The physicist was sitting on her upstairs desk with nothing but a bra on her top half, her blouse forever banished to the trash bin after Holtz’s rough treatment of it earlier.

“All done. Does it still sting?”

Erin wrinkled her nose. “A little. It’s more annoying than anything at this point.”

Holtz kissed Erin on her nose. “See, you just let Dr. Holtzmann take care of you and you’ll feel all better on the inside.”

Erin coughed.

Holtzmann’s eyes grew wide for a brief moment. “Um yeah, let me get a band-aid on that.”

Erin watched as her girlfriend started rummaging through one of the many junk drawers that occupied her lab.

_How she finds anything in this place I’ll never know._

“Ah-ha!” Holtzmann triumphantly held a band-aid over her head, running back over to where Erin sat.

“An Elmo band-aid? Really?”

Holtz gave her an over-exaggerated hurt look.

“What do you have against Elmo? Besides, the drug store was out of the Spongebob ones.”

The engineer carefully affixed the bandage over the cut on Erin’s back.

“All done! All that’s left is a kiss to make it better!”

Holtzmann planted a light kiss over the band-aid, causing Erin to involuntarily shudder. She began to kiss upward on Erin’s back, until she reached the place where her neck met her shoulder. She sucked on it lightly, wrapping her arms around Erin’s bare stomach. Erin groaned.

“Holtz, don’t start what we can’t finish.”

Holtzmann grunted, resting her forehead on Erin’s shoulder.

“Since we’re pretty much worthless at this point, how about we get out of here. I think Abby and Patty are about to kill us anyway.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Erin stood up and placed her hands on Holtz’s shoulders, giving her an enthusiastic kiss.

“Hey Holzy?”

“Yeah babe.”

“Um, can I borrow a shirt?”

\--

Erin and Holtzmann walked hand-in-hand on the way to Holtz’s apartment, the engineer with a large package of small animal bedding under her other arm. Rather than going to Erin’s apartment (which was usually their chosen place of repose given that it was larger and much less cluttered), Holtzmann remembered that she desperately needed to clean the cages of her four pet chinchillas, and convinced Erin to accompany her.

“Come on E, it’ll just take a few minutes to clean the kids’ cages, and then we’ll have the whole night to ourselves!”

“That depends, did you clean your bed off? Last time I was there you had a mountain of books, half a proton pack and a 1000-piece puzzle on it.”

“It’s clean - I just put all that shit under the bed.”

Once they reached the door to the apartment, Holtz let go of Erin’s hand to reach into her pocket for her keys, but not before planting a kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek.

_I can’t believe she can still make me blush after all this time…_

“I’m home kids!” Holtzmann bellowed once the door closed behind her. She flipped an old stereo on (complete with turntable and dual-cassette deck) which proceeded to blast some random 80’s pop tune as she walked over the the four medium sized fish tanks that were assembled on a set of wall racks in the living room.

“Make yourself at home hot stuff. This should only take a few.”

Erin glanced around Holtz’s small, cramped, one-bedroom apartment. Her girlfriend had made a concerted effort to try to tidy the place up once they had started dating, but she just had so much stuff that there were very few places that weren’t occupied by the odds and ends that were simply Holtzmann.

Meanwhile, Holtz assembled a wire playpen in the middle of the living room floor and began opening the cages to her pets. As she removed each chinchilla from their home, she gave them a kiss on the top of their heads and gently placed them inside the playpen.

“Bert. Ernie. Xena. Gabrielle. I’m sorry I haven’t been around my babies. Your mom’s been busy not getting busy.”

Erin snorted as she sat on the floor, watching the chinchillas run around inside the wire enclosure. She had gotten bit on her finger when she was young by a cousin’s hamster in an attempt to pet it, so she was still wary of small animals. She lightly touched one of the chinchillas’ fur as they stuck their nose through the wires, being careful not to press down too hard.

“How do you tell them apart?”

“Oh,” Holtz said as she scooped old bedding into a trash bag from one of the cages. “Well it’s easy to tell the girls and boys apart for obvious reasons. Ernie is a bit chunkier than Bert, no surprise, and Xena is slightly darker than Gabrielle, so.”

Erin shook her head and grinned. “You’re ridiculous you know.”

Holtzmann turned, pushing her glasses up her nose. “That’s why you love me,” she said with a wink.

Erin felt a rush of heat below her waist. “That, among other things.”

Holtz waggled her eyebrows and bent down to pick up the package of new bedding. As she filled the cages, she danced along to the beat of the music. Erin watched Holtz’s hips gyrate rhythmically, her mouth becoming dry as she did so.

_I’m going to spontaneously combust soon. This has to happen tonight…_

“Ok I’m done, time to put the kids back to - MMPH”

Erin had stood up and spun the engineer around, wasting no time in fusing their lips together, seeking entrance to Holtz’s mouth with her tongue.

“Babe, think about the children,” Holtz moaned as Erin pushed the straps of her overalls down and began kissing her neck.

“They won’t even notice,” Erin rasped as she kneaded one of Holtz’s breasts through her t-shirt.

Holtzmann growled as she grabbed the physicist by the ass and picked her up, Erin wrapping her legs around her waist. She rapidly carried her to the couch in the corner of the living room and deposited her there on her back, taking off her combat boots before settling on top of her.

Erin pulled Holtzmann’s hair as they kissed, eliciting a shaky whimper from her girlfriend. Holtz pulled back slightly, her lips barely touching Erin’s.

“I need to taste you. I need to see you come apart so badly Erin”

“God yes. Please Holtzy.”

Holtzmann raised Erin up slightly to pull the t-shirt that she had lent her off her body. As Erin laid back down, Holtzmann began to place wet, open mouthed kisses on her stomach. She wrapped her fingers in Holtz’s blonde curls, knowing it drove the engineer mad.

Holtz hummed against Erin’s stomach as she deftly undid the button and zipper of her girlfriend’s jeans, pulling them down along with her underwear in one fell swoop. She placed one of Erin’s legs on top of her shoulder, and looked up at her, her mouth inches from where Erin needed it most.

“Goddammit Holtzmann. I need it so bad. Please.”

Simultaneously Holtz slowly entered her with one finger while flicking her tongue over her clit. Erin moaned, arching her back off the couch.

Erin’s mind began to fog as the pace of Holtzmann’s finger thrusting inside of her increased, the movement of her tongue becoming more frantic.

_I’m not going to last much longer. Oh god this is going to feel so good. Wait, why is my shoulder all wet all of a sudden…_

Erin hazily turned her head to see one of Holtz’s chinchillas perched on her shoulder, peeing on her.

“HOLTZ! SHIT!”

Erin brushed the chinchilla off her shoulder with one hand while rolling off the couch, hitting Holtzmann in the head with one of her knees as she did so.

“OW! ERIN! WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Erin sat on the floor near the edge of the couch pantless, staring into the dark eyes of the small creature perched on two legs on one of the couch cushions. If Erin didn't know any better, she’d swear it was mocking her. She turned her head when she heard Holtzmann moan from the other end of the couch. She was holding her head while curled in the fetal position, her rogue pet beginning to burrow itself in her mop of blond curls.

“I told you we shouldn’t fuck in front of the children.”

Erin groaned loudly as she flopped onto her back, staring at the ceiling.

_I think death would be less painful…_

\--

Erin handed Holtz a bag of frozen lima beans as the engineer sat crossed legged on her bed, still holding her head in her hands.

“Here. You didn’t have any ice cubes in your freezer so this is the closest I could manage to an ice pack. Why do you have lima beans anyway?”

Holtzmann grabbed the bag of frozen vegetables and pressed it against the crown of her head.

“They were on sale.”

“Holtzy, you hate lima beans.”

“Never shop drunk Erin.”

Erin sighed and sat next to Holtzmann on the bed, lightly rubbing her girlfriend’s back.

As soon as they had gotten their wits together after the latest interruption of their attempt to end their sexual stalemate (and after Erin had put her pants back on), the two women had herded the four chinchillas back into their respective cages. At some point when they had been occupied with one another, the small animals had managed to push over part of the wire fencing that surrounded them. Holtzmann said it was because the noises they had been making disturbed them, but Erin was silently convinced this was some horrible sex karma that was coming around to bite her in the ass.

Erin pecked Holtz on her cheek. “You should sleep. And probably stay in bed tomorrow too. Just in case I stunted your concussion recovery.”

Holtzmann let out a pathetic sigh.

“Holtz - I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of this. I don’t know why this is happening but -” Erin could feel tears pooling at the corner of her eyes.

“Hey,” Holtzmann said as she placed the makeshift ice pack on the bed beside her. “This isn’t your fault. It’s nobody’s fault.” She stroked the physicist’s cheek lightly with the back of her hand. “C’mere.” She pulled Erin towards her into a hug.

“I guess it’s good to know that this relationship isn’t just all about sex. I mean if it was, I’m sure you would’ve dumped my ass after the fire alarm incident.” Erin’s voice was muffled as she buried her face into her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“Nah. I would’ve dumped ya after I fell out of the shower.”

Erin pulled back her face and looked into Holtzmann’s eyes.

“Shut up dork.”

“I love you too.”  
  
  



	9. Ecto-1 (Coitus Interruptus)

At least, Erin reasoned in the next afternoon, she hadn’t made Holtzmann’s concussion worse with her reaction to the chinchilla peeing on her; still, the furry little animal’s actions and the subsequent kick to the engineer’s head had successfully ruined the mood _again_ , and so, all they had done that evening had been cuddling a bit before going to sleep.

And now, they didn’t even have the chance to give it another try at the firehouse – which was probably a blessing in disguise, Erin thought, seeing how they had gotten interrupted there four times already – because a bust had been called in, and so, they all were in Ecto-1 now, Holtzmann taking some of her frustration out on the road as she drove with her usual disregard of traffic rules, the distinctly un-american sounding siren blaring away.

_Well, at least the bust is gonna help take some of that excess energy away,_ Erin glumly thought to herself, staring out of the window at the passenger side, as always riding shotgun next to Holtz, _God, I can’t believe I’m so frustrated by now that I almost started crying yesterday. How did I live all the years pre-Holtz without getting laid regularly?_

She held back a sigh, telling herself that the bust would help her handle this endlessly growing frustration; and for a while, it did, Erin attacking the ghosts with quite a bit more force and fervour than strictly necessary, feeling better with each minute that passed.

Then, Holtzmann brought out the twin proton guns again, and the physicist once more found herself captivated by how well she wielded them, and insanely turned on – just like back at Times Square, even though she had refused to admit it to herself back then – not sure if she should praise the engineer for how good she looked or curse her for how aroused she had made her feel yet again.

“Man, I just want to go home and shower”, Patty complained after the bust had been finished and the equipment had been put back into the car’s roomy trunk, “can y’all just drop me off at home? We can do the report tomorrow, right?”

“Oh God, yes please”, Abby agreed at once, Erin trying to hold back the giddy smirk which wanted to spread over her face in response – once they had dropped Abby and Patty off, Holtzmann and she would have the car to themselves, and suddenly, she felt the need to replace the only memory she had of making out and more in a car with a much more pleasant one, involving Holtzmann instead of the guy she’d done this with many years ago.

And clearly, Holtz had similar ideas, giving her a hungry look before she nodded her agreement at once.

“Don’t you dare doin’ it in the car”, Patty warned, not having missed that glance, “at least get home before you get funky with each other!”

“Yeah, yeah”, Holtzmann replied dismissively, earning a hard look from the historian; Erin just tried to smile innocently (and failed), then asked if they were ready to go, then, struggling hard to hide her excitement, gave her best to sit quietly as Holtzmann drove at first Abby, then Patty home.

“No doin’ it in the car!” the historian once more said, then vanished in her apartment building; Erin had the decency to wait until the door had fallen close behind the other woman – before she reached out and placed one hand on Holtzmann’s thigh, wondering if the small jolt she felt at the contact was one-sided or if Holtz had felt it too, an unasked question the engineer answered moments later with the look she gave her.

“Take the car to some quiet place?” Erin suggested, and the answer came quick and, once again, non-verbal – in form of Holtzmann practically stomping down onto the gas pedal, the engine roaring in protest, but neither of them caring, just eager to get to some quiet place so they could have some much-needed alone time.

* * *

 

The Ecto-1 was roomier than the one car Erin had made out in before, and so, it was way more comfortable; Holtzmann and she were on the backseat, the engineer on top of her, kissing her deeply and making her glad that for once, she hadn’t gotten slimed during the bust.

Apparently, even the ghosts were taking mercy on her at this point.

Eager to feel more of Holtzmann, she pulled down the zipper of the blonde’s coveralls as fast as she could, then pulled them down until the sleeves were dangling around her waist; taking the hint, Holtzmann did the same for her, appreciative of the fact that, thanks to her tendency to get slimed, Erin by now only wore underwear beneath the jumpsuits anymore, quickly unclasping her bra and pushing it out of the way and taking one of the physicist’s nipples into her mouth while her index finger and thumb moved to the other one, Erin immediately reacting with a sharp gasp.

Arching her back, she entangled one hand in Holtzmann’s hair while the other ran up and down her back; and within seconds, she was so turned on again that it was ridiculous, breathing heavily and moaning when Holtzmann bit down on her nipple, not so hard that it would have hurt, but hard enough to send a jolt through her whole body.

“God Holtz”, she almost panted, raising her hips to increase the pressure of Holtzmann’s thigh between her legs, “I need you inside. Now. Please.”

Holtzmann let out a vaguely agreeing grunt in reply, taking a moment to focus her lips and tongue on the physicist’s other nipple, leaving the other one glistening and hard; Erin moaned again as the engineer’s teeth grazed the already throbbing nipple, and then Holtzmann’s free hand slid into her pants, and she gasped, the engineer feeling her own arousal grow to impossible heights when she felt how wet Erin already was.

“God, yes”, the physicist moaned at the somewhat harmless contact, hips twitching as she tried to increase the pressure, “please Holtz, I need you to fuck me, now. Don’t make me wait.”

Hearing Erin, always correct and proper Erin, talk like that nearly made Holtzmann come without any need for stimulation then and there; she let out a groan of her own, repositioned her hand slightly so she could give the redhead what she had asked, almost had begged for… and just then, something knocked loudly against the window of the car, three times, making them jump, Holtzmann by this point not even groaning anymore when she hit her head on Ecto-1’s roof.

“Hello?” a voice called out to them, a light shining into the car’s interior afterwards, causing Erin to squeak as she scrambled to cover her breasts, “you guys okay in… oh dear!”

The cop who had interrupted them apparently had realized what exactly he had interrupted, taking a step back from the car; resigned to her fate of always just getting this close, Holtzmann turned to look at him, making sure to block his view on Erin with her body, and rolled the window down, poking her head out, the officer meeting her gaze, looking quite flustered.

“I’m sorry”, he said, putting the nightstick he had used to tap on the window back onto his belt, “I just saw your car here and thought you’re in some kind of trouble, I didn’t realize… I’m a big fan, you know.”

Holtzmann noticed him trying to peek past her, and glared; he cleared his throat, and took another step away – and as if being interrupted by a cop wasn’t bad enough, a flash came up somewhere behind him, making all three flinch this time.

“Hey!” the cop yelped, turning to glare at the man who flashed another photo, then beat a hasty retreat, “come back here! Freaking paparazzi!”

In the car, Erin groaned and hid her face in her hands, wishing she’d still be surprised by what just had happened, but simply not finding it within herself anymore.


	10. Punch Drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I nearly died laughing writing this.
> 
> Sorry y'all (not really)

_GHOSTBUSTERS CAUGHT IN FLAGRANTE DELICTO_

_Busted By Police In Official Company Vehicle_

_Who You Gonna (Booty) Call?_

Erin covered her head on the firehouse’s kitchen table as Holtzmann read the headlines from one of NYC’s tabloid rags detailing their thwarted effort of car sex the previous evening. Splayed across the front page was a photograph of Holtzmann gesturing angrily out the back window of the Ecto-1, Erin in the background covering her chest.

“Hmm…” Holtz pondered while chewing on a doughnut. “The headline could use some work.”

“Holtzmann!” Erin screeched, lifting her head off the table. “I’m not finding this funny at all! My boobs are spread all over page one!”

“Eh, I mean after flashing half the library the other day you should be used to it by now, right?”

Erin made a frustrated noise and put her very flushed face back on the table.

Patty walked in the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. “I told you dumbasses not to do nasty shit in the car. See what happens when you don’t listen to Patty.”

“I don’t think this is funny either Holtz,” Abby said trailing behind Patty. “It’s bad publicity.”

“There’s no such thing as bad publicity Abs,” Holtzmann shrugged.

Kevin popped in his head in the room.

“Ladies, I have 12 messages already.”

“See Holtzmann?! See!” Abby waggled her finger in Holtz’s face.

“Uh, one of them was from a lady saying she was praying for us heat thems.”

Patty rolled her eyes. “That’s heathens baby.”

“Sure, right!” Kevin itched his eyelid through his non-existent eyeglass lens. “The other eleven were for Holtzy.”

“Me?” Holtzmann put her feet back on the ground from where she was resting them on top of the table.

“Uh-huh. I think they were all wanting to go out with you? The first one said that her name was Candy and you could take her for a drive and touch her -”

“ENOUGH!” Erin screamed.

There was a beat of silence before Holtzmann, Patty and Abby burst out laughing. Erin continued to look mortified, while Kevin just looked plain confused.

“Look,” Patty wiped tears from her eyes. “It’s been a rough few days, especially for you two lovebirds. How about we go out for a few after we’re done today? I mean it is Friday after all.”

“Sure!” Holtzmann thrust her arms up in the air in excitement.

“I don’t know, Holtz. I’m not sure I want to go out in public right now. Can we just spend a quiet night at home tonight?”

“Ah c’mon Gilbert. When have we had a quiet night at home lately? Besides, what could go wrong?” The engineer winked.

 _A whole lot Holtzy,_ Erin thought as she shook her head. _A whole helluva lot._

\---

The music at the local watering hole was loud as Holtzmann deposited the next round of drinks on table of the small booth the four Ghostbusters were crammed into. It included a shot to go along with the beer Holtz had bought herself.

 _That’s like her fourth shot? I think? I can’t do numbers right now._ Erin rubbed her eyes, her head feeling slightly foggy.

The stress of being unable to “get busy” as Holtzmann so succinctly had put it, led to both Erin and Holtz consuming way more alcohol than both women were used to. The engineer was particularly bombed at this point, much to the amusement of both Abby and Patty.

“Hey baby,” Holtz slurred into Erin’s ear. “Come here often?” She attempted to wink, but instead closed both eyes, causing Abby to nearly spit out the beer she had been drinking.

“Whaaaaaaaa?” Holtzmann turned to look at Patty.

“Holtzy, baby. That was Abby, not me. How many have you had so far?”

“Um…” Holtzmann scratched her head, deep in thought. Erin in the meantime had put her hand on Holtz’s knee under the table and was slowly moving it up her leg.

“Erin, babe. This booth is too small to fuck in.”

“Oh Jesus, this was a bad idea Patty.” Abby shook her head and covered her eyes.

“Ok ladies. Go dance. Work off that excess energy.” Patty made a shooing motion in the direction of the small, crowded dance floor.

“YAH DANCING!” Holtzmann stumbled out of the booth, and was only prevented from falling on the floor by Erin grabbing her by the belt buckle.

“C’mon hot stuff, let’s go.” Erin dragged her girlfriend by the hand toward the dance floor.

“That’s my term of endearment E!”

Abby and Patty watched the two women stumble and disappear among the mass of bodies wedged close together.

Patty began rummaging through her purse.

“What are you looking for?” Abby took another sip of her beer.

“My phone. This shit’s going to get too good not to be able to show them later when they’re both hungover.”

\---

Erin had no idea how long they had been dancing. All she knew was that she was extremely warm, both from the alcohol and the proximity of the other bodies on the dance floor. It also didn’t help that Holtzmann was so unsteady she was putting most of her body weight onto her as she held onto Erin’s shoulders.

“Holtz,” she shouted over the loud music. “I’m hot - can you not lean on me so much?”

Holtzmann pulled her face back from where she had been resting it on the physicist’s shoulder. She licked her lips and put her mouth close to Erin’s ear.

“You’re always hot Erin. But you’re so fucking hot right now. I’m gonna take you right here on the dance floor.”

Holtz trailed one of her hands down Erin’s stomach and attempted to unbutton the fly of Erin’s jeans. Erin grabbed her wrist.

“Holtzy, no. Not here.”

The engineer groaned. “But I’m so goddamned horny. I neeeeeeeed you Erin.”

Holtzmann leaned forward and captured Erin’s mouth with her own. Within seconds, the two women had their hands in each other’s hair, tongues battling with one another, their bodies pressed as close together as humanly possible.

Erin pulled back first, panting.

“My apartment. Now. It’s only a five minute cab ride from here.”

“Fuck yes,” Holtz breathed against her lips.

Erin took Holtzmann by the hand, ran toward the booth and grabbed her purse. She gave a half wave goodbye to Abby and Patty as they ran towards the exit. Holtzmann turned around and delivered a two-fingered salute before the door shut behind them.

“Did you get it all on video?”

“Yuuuuuup,” Patty drawled as she put her phone back on the table.

“Too bad no one told Erin her fly was undone. Oh well,” Abby snorted.

\---

The cab ride was torturous enough, with both women knowing they were (hopefully) just minutes away from finally being able to finally have sex to completion. It didn’t help Erin though that Holtzmann kept drunkenly trying to finger her through her jeans, causing enough friction to get her amped up, but not nearly enough for release.

“Goddammit, stop it Holtz,” Erin whispered into her girlfriend’s ear.

“Hmmmm, you know ya like it. Dontcha?” Holtzmann slurred as she wiggled her eyebrows.

“You’re gonna pay for this,” Erin mumbled as the cab pulled up to her apartment.

“Promise?” Holtz leaned back into the backseat as she licked her lips.

Erin rolled her eyes and gave the cab driver a twenty.

“Get your ass up Holtzy.”

“Bossy? I like it.” Holtzmann grabbed the hand Erin was offering and allowed herself to be pulled out of the cab.

The two women stumbled to the door of Erin’s apartment - partly due to the alcohol, partly due to the fact they were so eager to get inside they were flailing all over the place.

Erin opened her door and pushed Holtzmann inside. The engineer gripped the arm of the living room couch to steady herself. Before she could turn around, Erin grabbed her by her collar and pushed her against the now closed front door. With one hand she held Holtzmann’s head firmly against the door by her cheek. With the other she quickly unbuttoned Holtz’s pants. She paused for a moment when she realized Holtzmann wasn’t wearing any underwear.

_Holy shit._

“Erin…”

The physicist dragged her middle finger through Holtzmann’s folds and rested it at her entrance.

“You’ve been very bad today Holtzy,” she rasped in her ear.

“Ugh, baby…”

“I’m gonna make you beg for it.”

Normally Holtzmann was the one who tended to take control in bed, but Erin was so frustrated with her girlfriend’s teasing in the cab ride over that she decided she’d take it out on her first.

“Oh shit.” Holtzmann whimpered.

“What do you want Jillian?”

Holtz’s eyes got wide. Erin almost never called her by her first name.

“Jesus…”

Erin flicked Holtz’s clit lightly with her thumb, eliciting another strangled moan from the engineer.

“What. Do. You. Want?”

Holtzmann swallowed audibly.

“Fuck me Erin. Please. Fuck me hard.”

Erin’s mouth descended on Holtzmann’s as she plunged three fingers inside of her. The groan that ripped from the back of Holtz’s throat made Erin lightheaded.

“Oh god, harder. Harder. Don’t stop.”

The next few moments were filled with the sounds of Holtz’s cries, combined with the loud pounding of her body against the door by Erin’s digits thrusting inside of her.

“FUCK. OH MY GOD I’M -”

Holtzmann keened as she came, her head falling forward against Erin’s shoulder as she trembled uncontrollably.

Erin smiled against Holtzmann’s neck.

_One down, one to go…_

Erin slowed her thrusts, eventually pulling her fingers out from inside Holtz. The engineer whimpered softly.

“Was that good baby?”

“Oh god. That was incredible.”

Holtzmann pulled her head back and smiled. Erin winked and then slowly sucked on the fingers that she had just used to get her girlfriend off with. Holtz’s pupils dilated as she watched.

“Holtzmann! Slow down!”

Before Erin knew what was happening Holtzmann had picked her up by her ass and started running toward the bedroom.

“Nononono, I need to make you come too. I’m all about equality.”

Holtz nearly tossed Erin on the bed and flung herself on it next to her. She began tearing at her girlfriend’s shirt.

“Holtzy, let me help take it off ok? I don’t think your fingers are steady enough at this point.”

The engineer smirked.

“Maybe, but I know my tongue works just fine right now.”

“Shit…” Erin breathed as she tossed her shirt across the bedroom.

The two women both struggled to get Erin’s jeans off, and once they were, Holtzmann began licking a stripe slowly down the physicist's stomach.

“Ugh, hurry.” Erin wound her hands in Holtzmann’s blonde curls as she slowly made her way down her body.

Erin threw her head back and groaned as she felt Holtzmann’s tongue lightly flick her clit.

“Oh god, yessss. I need this so bad.”

The physicist breathed heavily as she waited for Holtzmann to continue. When she didn’t feel anything for a few moments, she looked down.

Holtz had passed out, her head resting on one of Erin’s thighs.

“HOLTZMANN!” Erin wiggled her leg in an attempt to rouse her girlfriend.

Holtz snored lightly.

“JESUS CHRIST! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?”

Erin’s upstairs neighbor started pounding on her ceiling.

\---

Erin had been awake for an hour, but looked angrily at the ceiling while her girlfriend laid next to her, snoring away.

_I do all that work getting her off, and she passed out while going down on me. Just great._

Erin had pondered briefly after she had basically rolled the engineer to her side of the bed whether to get herself off for some relief, but she always had difficulty accomplishing that. In all honesty, Holtzmann was the only person on the planet who had been able to make her come on a regular basis.

_I’m too agitated anyway. Good luck sleeping tonight Gilbert._

Erin glared at Holtzmann as she slowly roused herself from her slumber.

“Ugh, did you get the license plate of the truck that hit me?”

“Don’t even talk to me Holtzmann.” Erin turned her back on her girlfriend and laid back down on the bed in a huff.

“Whaaaaaaa? Hey Erin. What’s the matter.” the engineer lightly shook Erin’s shoulder.

“Don’t ‘what’s the matter’ me!” Erin flipped back over and scowled. “At least you got off last night Miss Passes Out In Girlfriend’s Crotch.”

Holtzmann propped herself up by her elbows.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh shut it Holtzmann, you - “

Erin paused when she saw the engineer turn green.

“Be right back. Oh god, oh god, oh god…”

Holtzmann leaped off the bed and ran toward the bathroom. Erin heard her retching moments later.

_Just great._

After she heard the toilet flush, Erin slid out of bed and walked toward the bathroom, stopping in the doorway. Holtz had her head pressed against the cool porcelain tile at the base of the commode.

“Serves you right jerk.”

“Why are you being mean to me?” Holtzmann whined. “I feel like death.”

“You know why.”

Holtzmann lifted up her head and looked at the physicist with bleary eyes.

“No honestly I don’t. The last thing I remember is you pushing me in a cab. I have some fuzzy images after that, but nothing else until I woke up just a couple of minutes ago.”

Erin gaped. “You mean you don’t remember…”

“What Erin? Oh god, did I flash someone on the street again? What did I do?”

“Um, I don’t know how to tell you this Holtzmann.”

“What?! What happened? Tell me Erin!”

Erin tried hard not to laugh.

“I screwed you against the door in the living room and got you off. Pretty good I might add.”

Holtzmann stared at Erin, unblinking.

“Holtzy?”

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!”

The upstairs neighbor pounded on the ceiling again.


	11. On the Job

Ghosts, as it turned out, neither had any consideration for the fact that it was Saturday, nor for the fact that both Erin and Holtzmann were hungover; they just had gotten done with showering and a small breakfast (just coffee for Holtzmann, coffee and toast for Erin) when the phone rang, and it was Abby, sounding just a tad too gleeful when she told them that a bust had been called in.

“Ugh, I’m gonna puke again”, Holtzmann groaned as she pulled on the first random bits of clothing she could find, glad that she by now had a collection of clothes stowed at Erin’s home, “Patty’s gonna be so happy that she’ll get to drive today, cause I just can’t. Urch. Bleh.”

“Poor you”, Erin showed sympathy, glad that she wasn’t quite as hungover as her girlfriend, even though her head throbbed to, her mean streak gone again though and allowing her to feel bad for the engineer. (The fact that Holtzmann didn’t remember her orgasm certainly had made that easier, too.)

“Hopefully it’ll be over quickly”, she added, rubbing Holtzmann’s back reassuringly; Holtz just sighed, and shrugged, then pulled on her boots, the two of them making their way down to the sidewalk afterwards to wait for Abby and Patty, the historian indeed looking quite happy as she pulled Ecto-1 up to the curb a few minutes later, Abby comfortable in the passenger seat.

“Keep driving, Pattycakes”, Holtzmann said at once, flopping down onto the backseat like some sort of extraordinarily blobby jellyfish, “my head pounds too much today to let me enjoy it. Do we have to use the siren?”

“No”, Patty gave back, sympathetic at how pale and uncharacteristically low-key Holtzmann was, “just this once, we can go without that blarin’ thing. Man Holtzy, you look like shit.”

“Love you too”, Holtzmann grumbled, sinking deeper into the seat and closing her eyes, the light too bright despite her yellow glasses; Erin, who felt better by then, gently rubbed her shoulder and smiled at her when she cracked one eye open to briefly look at her.

“When the bust is over”, she then said, “I’ll take you to Starbucks and get you that awful coffee with five syrups you like so much. And a cinnamon roll, too, how does that sound?”

“Good”, Holtzmann sighed, making Erin smile again; she leaned in to briefly kiss her cheek, then kept rubbing the blonde’s shoulder until Abby stopped the car in front of the building they had been called to, another hotel this time, one which apparently was plagued by the ghosts of guests who had found an early end there.

“We better split up”, Abby suggested after they had introduced themselves and had spoken to the manager who had called them, “Erin and Holtz, you take the top and third floor, Patty and me first and second?”

“Fine with me”, Erin nodded, while Holtzmann let out a vaguely agreeing noise; she looked a bit better though by the time they had busted several ghosts on the top floor, most of her hangover apparently gone, judging from how she was bouncing down the stairs once that floor had been taken care of.

“Holtz, take care”, Erin admonished, holding her very own Erin Gilbert PKE Meter (marked by a tiny metal bowtie Holtzmann had welded to the grip) aloft in search for more activity, “the last thing we need now is that you fall down the stairs and concuss yourself again.”

“Please”, Holtzmann gave back at once, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to look at her, then at the PKE Meter which was completely silent and dark, “stairs are no danger for Holtzmann. They might be helpful though.”

“Helpful?” Erin echoed, and before she could do more than that, Holtzmann was kissing her deeply, simultaneously tugging at her coveralls, sending a wave of arousal through her, a low moan escaping her while the PKE Meter clattered to the stairs and from there to the floor.

“Get those coveralls down”, Holtzmann panted into her ear, apparently having decided that it was her turn to be bossy now, even though she couldn’t remember the moment Erin had been the night before, “and then sit down, and spread your pretty legs for me.”

Erin knew that they shouldn’t do this, that they were on the job and that this was highly unprofessional, and what if the manager walked up to see how they were doing? Half of New York already had seen her boobs in the newspaper, she really didn’t need to show them to anyone else who wasn’t Holtzmann, and, again, unprofessional.

All these thoughts went through her mind while she dropped the coveralls down to her ankles, then sat and did what the engineer had said, almost trembling with anticipation and the need to finally get some release.

And that only got worse when Holtzmann went down on her knees in front of her, because for some reason she didn’t want to think about, this was one of the hottest things she had ever seen, and she couldn’t get enough of it.

“Time to make up for falling asleep yesterday”, Holtzmann still said, already close enough that Erin could feel her warm breath on her thighs – and then, without wasting any time, aware that they didn’t have much, Holtzmann pulled her underwear aside and went right in, earning a yelp from the physicist as her tongue quickly found one of her most sensitive spots.

“Oh God Holtz yes”, Erin let out, entangling one hand in the engineer’s hair while she used the other to support herself on the stairs, not wanting to ruin this by falling onto the sharp edges of the steps behind her, gasping when Holtzmann responded with a flick of her tongue.

Her fingers tightened in the engineer’s hair, but she knew Holtzmann didn’t mind that, liked it, even; she moaned as Holtzmann increased her efforts, clearly eager to push her towards her orgasm as fast as it was humanly possible, before anyone might interrupt them, Erin letting out another moan, squeezing her eyes shut as the blonde’s efforts made her whole body tremble.

Then the strange whirring sound reached her ears, and she forced her eyes open, just in time to see the ghost hovering above Holtzmann – and opening its mouth wide, getting ready to spew ectoplasm. All over her. Again.

She yelped and, without fully realizing what she was doing, grabbed Holtzmann and jerked her up, using her as a human and very confused shield, the engineer having just a second to look at her startled – and then the spewing began, and it went all over the blonde, slid down her back and into her coveralls and down her neck.

“ARGH!” Holtzmann cried, shuddering as the unpleasantly warm stuff slid down her skin, “no! What! Erin!”

The ghost stopped and flew off with an evil cackle, down the stairs, perhaps to go after Abby and Patty; Erin let out the breath she had been holding, only to gulp at the look Holtzmann gave her, the engineer not looking amused at all.

“That”, the blonde then said, “did go into every crack. Every. Crack. But not for you right, cause I was in the way! Erin how could you!”

“I’m sorry!” Erin gave back, feeling like hanging her head in shame, something which was made difficult though by the fact that she still was half sitting, half lying on the stairs, “I just, I heard the PKE Meter and looked and the ghost was there and I just… reacted, I’m sorry Holtz! I’ll help you clean up!”

“Ugh”, Holtzmann just let out in reply, dropping to the side so she ended up next to her; Erin gave her another guilty look, then hurriedly pulled her coveralls back on as she heard Abby and Patty approach, wanting to scream – not only had she not gotten to her climax _again_ , but now Holtzmann seemed annoyed with her, too, and she wondered if this whole mess could get any worse.


	12. Permanent Press

Holtzmann was cold, achy and very, very annoyed.

She looked at the outside world through her yellow tinted glasses, stewing. Abby and Patty hadn’t said a word since they’d loaded up the Ecto-1 post bust, sensing the tension between Holtz and Erin and noting that the engineer was not particularly happy she was covered head-to-toe in ectoplasm.

As Patty pulled up to Erin’s apartment, Holtzmann bolted from the car before it had even come to a complete stop, leaving a slimy towel which laid on the seat she had just occupied and one very upset girlfriend.

Abby turned around from the passenger seat and patted Erin on the shoulder.

“Holtzy will be fine. She just doesn’t handle her senses being overloaded - and I’m sure that slime is probably driving her crazy right now.”

“That’s not the only thing driving her crazy,” Patty said under her breath, resulting in a stern look from Abby.

Erin sighed. “I know. It’s just been...hard lately.”

“Well go inside and spend the rest of the weekend together. Something’s bound to happen, right?” Abby tried to give Erin her best smile.

“Sure. See you later guys.”

Erin glumly got out of the Ecto-1 and trudged towards the entrance of her apartment.

“We’re gonna have to lock their pathetic horny asses in a closet, aren’t we?” Patty quipped.

“Oh god no. With their bad luck they’d probably knock their heads together in the dark and get amnesia.”

\---

Holtz shifted her weight from one foot to another in front of Erin’s apartment door.

_Where is she? This slime makes me want to tear my skin off…_

Erin finally turned the corner of the hallway.

“Erin, please. Hurry.”

“Ok, ok Holtzy. Give me a second, let me open the door -”

As soon as Erin turned the key in the lock, Holtzmann pushed the door open. She immediately started stripping down in the foyer, so as to not get slime on the carpet. When she had every stitch of clothing off her body, she ran towards the bathroom.

“Shower!” she shouted over her shoulder. She didn’t miss the hurt expression on her girlfriend’s face as she left the room.

_I’ll make it up to her. I just need to get this shit off of me right now._

Holtzmann sighed as the warm water hit her body.

_Actually I just need to get off…_

\---

Holtzmann walked into the living room after an extremely long shower, wearing nothing but a towel. She was wringing out the excess water in her long blonde hair when she spotted a freshly baked cookie and mug of hot chocolate (with extra marshmallows) placed in the middle of the coffee table. The engineer looked up to see Erin watching her from the doorway of the kitchen, looking gloomy.

_Geez, I’m an asshole._

Holtz approached her girlfriend and cradled her cheek in one of her hands.

“I’m a jerk, baby. Forgive me?”

Erin looked up at her, eyes slightly glassy.

“You don’t need to apologize. I shouldn’t have used you as a human shield - I know how much the slime bothers you. And you were being so great to me, um, doing stuff. I should have-”

Holtzmann shut her up with a long, lazy kiss.

“Go eat your cookie dammit.” Erin breathed against her lips.

Holtz grinned. “Is that an invitation?”

“Holtzy…”

“I’m kidding. I don’t know what I would do without you ya know?” Holtzmann turned and flopped on the couch, grabbing the cookie and taking a huge bite out of it.

“Um, why are you only wearing a towel? Not that I’m complaining or anything…”

“I used the last clean clothing I have here to go on that bust. And well -” Holtz took a long sip from her mug. When she put placed it back on the table, she looked up to see Erin giggling at her.

“Whaaaaaa?”

“You have a hot cocoa mustache Holtzy.”

“Oh.” Holtz raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you could take care of it for me?”

Erin sat next to her on the couch and leaned in, licking Holtzmann’s closed lips. The engineer groaned and pulled Erin onto her lap, grabbing her behind as they kissed passionately.

When Erin grabbed the edge of the towel covering Holtz’s breasts, she covered her hand with her own.

“Erin, no.”

The physicist pulled back, confused.

“Don’t you want to -”

“Oh god yes. I want to get off more than I want to breathe at this point. But I still feel a little icky to be honest. And hungover.”

Erin slid off Holtz’s lap and settled back down on the couch.

“Finish your cookie and we’ll go down to the laundry room so you’ll have something comfortable to wear. Just promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?” Holtz mumbled, her mouth half full of the remainder of the cookie.

“Leave your hair down today. It’s so pretty.”

Holtz gave the physicist a lopsided smile.

“For you, anything.”

\---

Holtzmann pushed the quarters into the washing machine and pressed the start button. She stepped away from it and folded her arms across her chest, watching the machine fill with water through the small circular door.

“I’ll never get what your fascination is with watching your clothes getting washed.” Erin had slipped in behind her and wrapped her arms around Holtz’s middle. She rested her chin on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“It’s...soothing. I can’t explain it.” Holtz’s eyes were mesmerized by the suds growing inside the machine.

“You know, they liken the sounds that a washing machine makes to the sounds we hear in the womb.” Erin’s breath tickled Holtz’s ear. She turned to look at her.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Erin moved her lips closer to the engineer’s ear, nearly touching it. “Personally, it reminds me of two people fucking, but what do I know.” Erin slowly moved her hand underneath the waistband of the sweatpants Holtz had borrowed from her. Due to all her clothing being in the machine, she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“Oh geez. Erin…”

“Hold onto the machine Holtz”

“God, I love it when you’re bossy,” Holtzmann groaned as she leaned forward and put her hands on the washer in front of her.

“This is why I like it when your hair is down.” Erin simultaneously slipped one finger inside of the engineer as she grabbed a fistful of blonde curls and pulled.

“Oh shit,” Holtz rasped as Erin pulled her head back far enough to attach her lips to her neck. As she began to suck on the skin underneath Holtzmann’s earlobe, the physicist added another finger inside her. Holtz made a low rumbling noise in the back of her throat as she began to move her hips in time with Erin’s thrusts.

“You like it when I take control like this don’t you? You’re like putty in my hands.” Erin licked the tip of Holtz’s earlobe.

“Jesus fuck, Erin. I’m so close.” Holtzmann rested her forehead on the rumbling washing machine as she felt her legs start to tremble.

_Just another few seconds. Shit, I’m almost there…_

The door to the laundry room burst open, revealing an older woman in a housedress carrying a laundry basket full of what could only be described as granny panties.

Erin screeched and jumped apart from Holtzmann, withdrawing her fingers from inside her. Holtz in turn slammed one of her fists on top of the washing machine, her frustration boiling over.

“GODDAMMIT!”

The interloper’s eyes narrowed.

“You! You’re the hussies making all that noise below me at all hours. And now you’re fornicating in the laundry room? I’m telling the building manager!”

The woman left the room in a huff, slamming the door behind her.

Erin and Holtzmann were silent for a moment, Erin looking down at her feet, Holtz still with her head on top of the washing machine.

“Erin?”

“Yeah Holtzy?”

“If I ever wear underwear that big, put me out to pasture.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone along the way sent us a prompt about Holtzbert (almost) doing it in a laundry room. So thanks whomever you are - this is all your fault (heh).


	13. How Much Is The Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We keep being awful. Poor holtzbert x)

“If I get kicked out of my apartment now, I’ll just move into the firehouse”, Erin sighed as they entered her home again, the clothing for Holtzmann freshly washed and dried, but that was the only good thing which had come from their trip to the laundry room, Holtzmann feeling quite frustrated that they had been interrupted again. And by a mean old lady with horrible panties, no less.

“Nah”, she said out loud, trying to not let her frustration show, knowing Erin felt pretty much the same way, and briefly wondering if perhaps, some random ghost had cursed them as she thought back to all their bad luck, “that old bint doesn’t have any proof, they can’t kick you out for that.”

“I hope so”, Erin sighed, flopping down onto the couch, Holtzmann ending up next to her, making her smile a bit by putting one arm around her shoulders, the physicist snuggling up to her at once, figuring that at least, they could cuddle, if they couldn’t get laid, “not that I can blame that poor old woman though.”

“Why”, Holtzmann wanted to know, raising an eyebrow, “because we keep waking her up with our awesome sex life? When we do have a sex life?”

“No”, Erin replied, a hint of mischief in her eyes now, “because at least we have the chance for a sex life. She doesn’t.”

“Buuuuuurn”, Holtz crowed, making the redhead smile with a bit of pride – usually, Abby was the one who elicited that particular shout from the engineer, being much better at witty one-liners than Erin was.

Holtzmann grinned back at her, then moved in for a kiss; it started fairly innocent, and Erin was quite sure that the engineer had had nothing else than kissing in mind when she had pressed her lips to Erin’s, but they both were so frustrated at this point that it quickly turned more passionate, a low moan coming from the physicist when she felt Holtzmann nibble at her lower lip.

The noise turned the blonde on more than it probably was reasonable, but then, she figured, no one could expect her to be reasonable anymore after all this misfortune; and she gave in to the arousal quickly, moving so she was gently pushing Erin backwards, until the physicist was on her back on the couch and Holtzmann was positioned over her, somehow managing to do so without breaking the kiss.

“Holtz”, Erin sighed as the blonde finally did pull back and started to kiss the sensitive skin of her throat, “perhaps we should… bedroom?”

“No”, Holtzmann gave back, looking up at her and shaking her head for emphasis, “with our bad luck, one of us will trip and get hurt. Probably me. We’re staying right here.”

She kissed Erin once more to distract her from protesting – whenever she had people over, said people sat on this couch, and wouldn’t it be terribly rude to… Holtzmann’s hand slid beneath her shirt and cupped her breast, and she moaned, forgetting all about moving to the bedroom as she arched her back, eager to feel more of her girlfriend’s touch.

The engineer reacted to that at once, moving her leg to her knee pressed against the other woman’s crotch; Erin gasped into her mouth, then moaned again, wondering if Holtzmann could actually feel the heat radiating from between her legs even through her pants.

Not that the pants were there for long, in the end, Holtzmann making quick work of them; she hurriedly unbuttoned them, and Erin lifted her hips so the engineer could pull them off, carelessly tossing them aside, the redhead not even finding herself able to care when she heard fabric rip and realized, a bit belatedly, that Holtzmann, instead of taking off her panties, simply had torn them.

“Tell me what you want”, the blonde almost growled at her, making her glad that she was lying down already since that certain tone made her feel decidedly weak in the knees, “I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I need you inside”, Erin breathed in response, lust and desire making her eyes sparkle, the way she hungrily licked her lips only turning Holtzmann on more, “now. Please?”

“As if I could say No to that”, Holtzmann smirked, then kissed her once more, simultaneously running two fingers through the warm wetness, Erin’s groan muffled by the engineer’s mouth on hers, the kiss growing even more heated when Holtzmann slid her fingers inside the redhead, simultaneously pressing her thumb down on Erin’s clit, eliciting another, louder moan.

“Oh God yes”, Erin panted as Holtzmann broke the kiss to trail her tongue over her throat, moving her fingers back and forth; her hips twitched in rhythm with the engineer’s movements, the need for release so big by now that it almost hurt physically.

She could feel Holtzmann’s calloused thumb rub in slow circles, a sharp contrast to the increasing speed of the movements of the other woman’s fingers inside her; and just when she thought that, in a few seconds, she’d finally, _finally_ have that orgasm she needed so badly… the doorbell rang.

“Ignore it”, Holtzmann panted, having felt her flinch at the unexpected noise, thankfully not so violently this time that it would have thrown her off again, “can’t be important.”

Erin nodded at once, and kissed her again, the noise had pushed her release back a bit, but that was just a small delay, she was sure; and as if to mock her, the doorbell rang again moments later, her brow furrowing as she tried hard to ignore it, like Holtzmann had suggested.

And then it rang again, and again, and again, a continuous annoying ring now, until Erin let out a “God!”, her passion quickly replaced by annoyance, then by worry as a possible reason for this bell terror hit her.

“What if it’s Abby, or Patty”, she voiced that, disappointed when she felt Holtz slow down, then pull back in reply, “and it’s an emergency? We have to look.”

“Alriiiiight”, Holtzmann sighed, making Erin grimace by wiping her fingers on the inside of her shirt, but at least, the physicist figured, no one would see any tale-telling stains there; she sighed, now regretting that her panties had been ruined as she had no time to pull on new ones, the bell still ringing.

“Yes!” she called out, getting annoyed again, “we’ll be right there! Jesus, this better be important…”

She pulled her pants back on, grimacing at the feeling of jeans fabric against the all too sensitive area between her legs; Holtzmann looked at her with sympathy as they walked to the door, the redhead moving a bit stiffly, and both of them frowning when Erin opened the door and they found themselves not looking at Abby or Patty, but a pizza delivery guy, the young man smiling brightly at them as he held up a pizza box.

“Your food”, he then said, prompting them to exchange a look which practically screamed _Seriously?!_ , Erin giving her best to sound calm and controlled when she replied, and to not let the guy notice that he had interrupted them having sex.

“We didn’t order anything”, she told him, making him frown, the way Holtzmann was glaring at him over Erin’s shoulder taking part in causing that expression, as well, “you must be at the wrong apartment.”

“This is number 4b, isn’t it”, he asked in response, and Erin wanted to knock her head against the door.

“No”, she grumbled, her calmness gone, “that’s one floor higher.”

“Oh”, the man let out, a bit bashful, “well, um… sorry. Have a good evening!”

He turned and hurried off, and Erin closed the door, then let her forehead drop against it, Holtzmann letting out a heavy sigh behind her.

“Not only did he interrupt us”, she then grumbled, prompting Erin to turn and look at her, “but we didn’t get any pizza, either. We should have just taken it.”

“Nah”, Erin shook her head, “it was with anchovies, I could smell them, and we don’t like those. Because of course.”

“I do like to go fishing though”, Holtzmann said wistfully, prompting Erin to blush furiously as she let out a yelp of “Holtz!”; the engineer shrugged and smiled innocently, only to raise an eyebrow at the glint which suddenly entered Erin’s eyes, the physicist’s tone unexpectedly coy when she spoke on.

“Well”, she almost purred, stepping closer to Holtzmann, who swallowed heavily, “if you like that, I do have quite the rod for you in the bedroom.”

“Erin, oh my God”, the engineer gave back, not sure if she should laugh or be mortified at this wording; Erin just winked at her, then moved past her – and right into the bedroom, clearly eager to finish what they had started, Holtzmann hurrying after her at once, soon grinning again as she looked forward to what the rest of the day would bring.


	14. Slippery When Wet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so going to hell for this. And I'm taking everyone with me.

“So the rod, eh?”

Holtzmann lifted an eyebrow as herself and Erin stood nearly nose-to-nose in the bedroom. Erin’s hands were tangled in Holtzmann’s hair, the engineer’s arms wrapped around her waist.

“Yep,” Erin breathed against Holtz’s lips. “I think it’ll do the trick nicely.

Holtzmann grinned almost manically. “So, do you want to fuck me? Or should I fuck you so hard I nearly split you in two?”

Erin felt her mouth go dry.

“God Holtz, I need it so bad. I want your cock inside of me. Please.”

Holtzmann made a strangled noise in the back of her throat as she kissed Erin fiercely, her tongue gaining entrance to her girlfriend’s mouth. As they backed up slowly to the bed, Erin bit down on Holtz’s tongue, eliciting a moan from the engineer that she could feel all the way down between her legs.

_Please let this happen...please let this happen…_

Erin felt the back of her legs hit something solid. Holtz pulled her face back briefly before giving her a light shove, resulting in the physicist falling backward on the bed. She scooted herself up so her entire body was fully resting on it. Erin bit her lip as she watched Holtzmann stare at her from the foot of her bed, licking her lips. The lust in her eyes made Erin wet.

“Take your clothes off babe. I want you to touch yourself as I’m getting ready for you. But don’t make yourself come. That wouldn’t be fair now would it?”

Holtzmann winked.

_Holy fuck…_

Erin tried to speak but all that could come out of her mouth at the moment was a breathy whine. So she settled for pulling her sweatshirt over her head.

She turned to look at Holtz after she had pulled her socks and underwear off, making herself completely nude. The engineer had her back turned to her, her pants already off. She observed Holtz grabbing the rather large dildo the two of them had purchased several months ago from the bottom of Erin’s dresser. Holtzmann turned to look at her before she fastened it to the harness that she had already put on.

“Gilbert. You need to get ready for me. I need to see the look on your face as you’re fingering yourself.”

Erin nodded her head as she slowly ran her hand down her flat stomach. She licked her lips deliberately as she brought her hands between her legs. A breathy moan escaped her mouth as she rubbed her clit in small circles.

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” Holtzmann whispered. Erin opened her eyes under hooded lids to see her girlfriend gaping at her, mouth wide open.

“Hurry up getting ready so you can fuck me. Oh godddd..” Erin threw her head back as she inserted one finger inside herself.

She could hear the sounds of Holtzmann buckling the clasps of the harness as continued to finger herself. Her breathing became more labored, her brow furrowed as she concentrated on the sensations that threatened to overwhelm her.

_I’m so close. I shouldn’t, but god, just a little more…_

She felt the bed move as Holtzmann climbed on the bed next to her. Holtzmann’s hand grabbed her own, her calloused fingers firmly closing over hers as she pulled them away from her dripping cunt. Erin whined pitifully.

“Now now,” Holtzmann whispered wetly next to her ear. “I told you not to come. I’m just going to make you wait a little longer now.” She inserted Erin’s wet fingers inside her mouth and swirled her tongue around them.

“Oh my god Holtz…”

The engineer removed the digits from her mouth and grinned.

“You taste so good Erin.”

She brought Erin’s wet fingers underneath her t-shirt and rested them on her breast.

“Erin…”

Erin grasped Holtz’s nipple between her thumb and forefinger and pulled hard, just as she knew she liked it. Holtzmann threw her head back and groaned.

“Just like that baby. Oh god that’s so good.”

Holtzmann repositioned herself so she was laying on top of the physicist, pulling her t-shirt over her head as she did so. Erin could feel the silicone dildo pressed up against her stomach as she leaned forward and took one of her girlfriend’s nipples in her mouth and bit down.

“FUCK,” Holtzmann growled as she picked one of her elbows off the bed to wind her fingers through Erin’s hair. Erin reached down to tug on the shaft pressed between the two of them, resulting in Holtz’s hips to buck.

“God Erin, I need to -”

“Please Holtzy. Fuck me. I need to come with you inside me.”

Holtzmann pulled back slightly to position herself so that the dildo was lined up with Erin’s entrance, her hand shaking as she did so. She looked down at the physicist below her, who was breathing so hard she swore she might be having a chest grabber.

Erin nodded and Holtzmann slowly pushed forward. She could feel her walls stretching almost uncomfortably. She bit her lip but couldn’t prevent the yelp that escaped from them.

“You ok babe? Too much?” Holtz looked down at her, a look of concern in her eyes.

“Maybe a little. Can you get -”

“The lube? Yeah hot stuff, hang on.”

Holtzmann leaned over to grab the tube from the drawer in Erin’s nightstand. Erin moaned in disappointment at the lost of contact, as the engineer had to pull out from her in order to reach it.

“Hang on baby, we’ll get there.” Holtzmann leaned back on her knees as she undid the cap on the tube with shaky hands. The cap flew off, and in Holtz’s attempt to grab it, she accidently squeezed, resulting in a large blob of lube squirting on Erin’s covers.

“Shit!” Holtzmann tried to wipe up the slippery substance with her fingers, but it only resulted in a large slick of lube being spread across a good portion of the bedspread.

“Holtzmann! This is my good comforter!”

“Sorry, sorry!” The engineer wiped her hand on her leg. “I’ll clean it up later. Hell, I’ll buy you six of them. Let’s just continue where we left off, shall we?”

Holtz squirted a dollop of lube on her hand and proceed to rub it up and down the silicone shaft, never breaking eye contact with Erin as she did so.

“Jesus, Holtz. Please…”

Holtzmann positioned the now slippery dildo at Erin’s entrance again, and before the physicist knew what hit her, she thrust forward. Erin groaned as Holtzmann slowly pushed forward until she was totally inside her.

“Is this ok? I don’t want to hurt you babe” Holtzmann whispered softly against her ear as she leaned forward so the two women’s sweaty bodies were pressed together.

“God yes. Now fuck me so I can’t walk for days.”

Holtz grunted as she pulled the dildo almost completely out of Erin before easing it back in again. And again. And again, the pace quickening.

“This feels so good Holtz, oh my god I’m gonna come so hard.”

“Jesus Erin, I need you to so bad. I need to see you when you fall apart.”

Holtzmann adjusted the angle of her hips slightly, resulting in the head of the dildo pressing up directly against Erin’s G-spot.

“OH MY GOD.”

The sensation was so strong that Erin couldn’t prevent her legs from flailing. Her knee slammed into Holtz’s ribs, not strong enough to hurt, but strong enough to throw the engineer off balance.

One of Holtzmann’s knees touched the slick of lube on the covers with such speed that she lost her grip on the bed. She tried to balance herself, but Erin’s pre-orgasmic shaking instead caused her to lilt farther to the side, until her whole body started to fall over.

“Augh, Erin! Help - SHIIIIT!”

Holtzmann slid off the bed with such force due to the slick of lube that it was almost excruciating for Erin when she pulled out of her suddenly. In her haze Erin saw her girlfriend fly off the the side of the bed head first and heard a very loud sound shortly thereafter.

_Oh for fuck’s sake, this is beyond ridiculous…_

“Holtz? You ok?”

There was a brief silence before Erin heard a panicked voice from the floor.

“Erin - oh god. I need help. OMG this hurts so bad…”

Erin scrambled to the edge of the bed (being careful to avoid the lube), and saw her girlfriend clutching her left leg. Her face had turned stark white.

“Holtzy - what is it?”

“My leg, fuck! I banged it on your dresser when I toppled over. I think it’s broken.”

Erin could see the engineer’s leg turning a deep shade of purple mid-shin.

_Oh no…_

Erin kneeled next to her girlfriend’s head and brushed the curls from her forehead, which was now covered in a cold, panicked sweat.

“It’s gonna be ok Holtzy. Let me just call an ambulance and…”

“Oh my god Gilbert, we’re both butt naked! And I’ve got a dildo fastened to my lady parts! No way!”

“What am I supposed to do then? Leave you on the floor? Roll you out the door? Because there’s no way you can put weight on that leg and I can’t carry you all the way to the ER.”

Holtzmann let her head fall back against the floor with a loud thump.

“Sweet merciful crap, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?”

“OK, calm down Holtzy - I’m just going to put some...pants on and call 911 ok?” Erin kissed her girlfriend lightly on her forehead and sprung up. She grabbed a pair of sweatpants from atop her laundry pile and threw the sweatshirt on that she had discarded a short time earlier. Once she was covered, she grabbed her cell phone from her jeans pocket and quickly called for the paramedics, giving the dispatcher a brief description of what happened and her address.

Erin turned back to look at Holtzmann on the floor, who oddly enough had a slight grin on her face.

“What are you smiling at?”

“My girlfriend slipped putting laundry away and I think she broke her leg? What, you didn’t want to tell them I injured myself due to a lube accident whilst boning you?”

“Ugh, boning is such an ugly word Holtzmann.”

“It’s a funny word. I’d love to debate you some more, but I think you need to put some clothes on me before the paramedics get here. We don’t need New York’s finest to find out that Erin Gilbert enjoys sex toys.”

Erin turned beet red.

_Oh god, how long do we have to cover this up? Five minutes? Shitshitshit…_

“Here,” Erin flung Holtzmann’s discarded t-shirt at her, hitting her in the face. “Put this on, I’ll find your pants.”

Erin frantically crawled around on the bedroom floor looking for the pair of jogging pants Holtz had borrowed. She let out a groan of frustration, until she realized they were hanging from the ceiling fan.

“Holtzmann! How the hell did your pants get up there?”

“That’s not important right now. Just grab them and help me get this dildo unfastened. Hurry!”

Erin heard sirens outside. They were getting closer. Fast.

“Ohhhhh my god.” The physicist stood up and snatched the pants from the fan. She bent back down near Holtz, who was struggling with the snaps on the harness.

“Let go Holtz, let me get this.”

“Faster Erin, they’re coming!”

 _I’m glad someone is_ Erin thought wryly.

“There!” Erin placed the dildo on the floor next to her. “Ok Holtzy, I’m going to help you get your pants on. I’ll go slow so it doesn’t hurt too much.”

The physicist crouched down at Holtzmann’s feet and eased the leg of the sweatpants on her uninjured leg. When she lifted up the other leg, Holtz hissed in pain.

“Sorry, sorry!”

“It’s ok,” Holtz said through gritted teeth. “Just pull them up, I think the ambulance is outside.”

As soon as the pants had slid up to Holtz’s waist, there was a loud pounding on Erin’s apartment door.

“Paramedics! Are you in there?”

“I’ll be right back.” Erin gave Holtzmann a quick kiss as she got up. She began to walk toward the door only to stop due to her girlfriend’s panicked cry.

“Erin! The dildo!”

She turned to see the dildo still sitting in the middle of the bedroom floor, just out of the reach of Holtz. She ran up to it and kicked it, intending for it end up under the bed.

“Hey that was expensive!”

“So’s my comforter!” Erin said over her shoulder as she ran toward the living room.

Erin opened the door to find two male paramedics staring back at her.

“Oh!” one of them said in surprise. “You’re *that* Erin Gilbert!”

Erin tried hard not to roll her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Come on, the injured party is in our-my bedroom.”

The two men gathered up their supplies behind her as Erin walked back to the bedroom. She stopped dead in the doorway.

The dildo was sitting straight up in the middle of the bed.

_Oh no I kicked it too hard…_

She heard footsteps behind her and jumped on the bed, covering the view of the sex toy from prying eyes. Erin nervously smiled as the paramedics entered the room.

“Hi, I’m Holtzmann. How has your day been?” the voice of her girlfriend floated up from the floor next to her.

“Oh not too bad.” The younger of the two men knelt by Holtz’s legs. “I bet you’ve been better though.”

“No shit.” Holtz grumbled.

“So how did this happen?” asked the paramedic who was standing at the foot of the bed, looking at Erin strangely as the physicist kept shifting on the bed in order to shield the dildo from him.

“She tripped.”

“Skydiving accident.”

Erin shot Holtzmann a dirty look after both women answered simultaneously.

“Ah, well,” the younger medic looked confused. “However it happened, let me take a look at it.” He gently pushed up the leg of Holtz’s sweatpants, who yelped.

“Yeah, that looks broken Mike. Let me take a closer look.”

The standing paramedic leaned forward, shaking the bed just enough that Erin felt her butt slide on her comforter.

_Oh no, the stupid lube…_

Erin landed on the floor smack on her ass. It had all happened so fast she didn’t have time to try to conceal the sex toy. It remained in its original landing position, proudly standing straight up for all to see.

The younger of the two medics stared with his mouth agape. The older paramedic snickered, attempting to cover his smile with his hand.

“Jeeeeesus Christ,” Holtzmann mumbled from the floor.

_I want to die. Please god, just take me now._

Erin was sure her face was redder than the ambulance in front of her apartment.

The older medic turned to her, trying his hardest not to smile.

“Don’t worry ma’am this is nowhere near the freakiest thing we’ve seen. Trust us.”

“Yeah! There was that lady last week with the bottle shoved up her -”

“Shut up Mike!”

Erin covered her face as she heard Holtzmann snicker next to her on the floor.

 


	15. La Petite Mort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dreamshaper here, I get to blab at the start of this chapter XD This insane ride is (finally? XD I imagine Holtzbert agree) coming to an end. Maschinenmensch and I had a ton of fun plotting and writing this, and we hope you had fun reading it ;D Keep an eye out for our next cooperation! :D Thanks for reading! :D  
> Also, shout-out to whoever came up with the initials headcanon on tumblr (I forgot the username) - thanks for that! :D

“Erin Gabrielle Gilbert”, Abby thundered as she practically rushed into the waiting area of the hospital with Patty in tow, making several heads turn and causing Erin to pull her head between her shoulders – middle name never meant anything good, “I swear, we leave you guys alone for the weekend and this is what happens?! Holtz ends up in the hospital??”

“It was an accident”, Erin defended herself, Abby’s gaze softening a bit when she saw how dejected her friend looked, “believe me, I rather wouldn’t have had that happen, either!”

“What exactly did happen?” Patty wanted to know, raising an eyebrow when practically immediately, Erin blushed.

“An accident”, the redhead mumbled, keeping her voice low now so the other people wouldn’t hear, glad when their focus shifted away from the three women and to whatever they had been doing before Abby’s dramatic entrance, “we were… well, you know… having fun, and I had a bit too much and inadvertently kicked my legs – Abby, stop laughing! – and hit Holtz and she fell off the bed and banged her leg against the dresser and broke it. My poor Holtzy.”

She made another unhappy face, prompting Abby to reach out and rub her back soothingly – even though the researcher still fought to hold back the giggles – while Patty shook her head, giving the physicist a sympathetic look.

“Man, I’m starting to think y’all went straight past bad luck and got cursed or something”, she told the redhead, earning another unhappy look, “breaking a leg during that! Poor Holtzy.”

“I feel so bad for her”, Erin mumbled, sighing heavily, “by now, she got concussed – twice! – and now she broke her leg. Perhaps being with me is bad for her health.”

“Not being with you would be even worse for her health”, Abby reassured her, earning a doubtful look, “and for our health, as well, imagine all the pining! It was barely bearable anymore by the time you got together with her, if you hadn’t, wow, I don’t even want to imagine that.”

At this, Erin smiled a bit, then sighed as she checked her watch again; eager to distract her from waiting for the doctor to finish putting the cast on Holtzmann’s leg, Abby asked her for more details, the physicist blushing brightly, not truly wanting to reveal any of them – but knowing that Holtzmann would, and perhaps, she could make it sound a bit less crass.

And so, she told Abby about her mishap with the “toy”, not able to bring herself to calling it a dildo, how she had tried to kick it beneath the bed and how it had ended up right in the middle of it instead, and by the time she had gotten to the part where she’d slipped on the lube too and had slid right off and the paramedics had seen the toy, Abby and Patty were laughing so hard that they were wheezing for breath.

“Oh God I’m sorry”, Abby brought out at Erin’s miffed look, “but that is too funny. Oh, my God.”

“Don’t tell Holtz it was funny or she’ll re-enact it for you or something”, the physicist mumbled, only making them laugh harder, “oh, and please don’t ever yell my middle name like that when she’s around. You know she’d never let me live it down once she figures out that my initials are E.G.G. The puns would be dreadful.”

“I think they would be eggcellent”, Abby said solemnly, setting Patty, who just had started to calm down, off again, while Erin just groaned and buried her face in her hands, hoping that soon, she’d get to see Holtzmann, if only to get away from the possible egg puns before they might get even worse.

* * *

 

Finally, after what had seemed like way too many hours, Erin was told that she could go see Holtzmann now, to her great relief; she hurried to join her girlfriend in the room the hospital had put her in, finding her lying in bed, her leg in a cast which went from her ankle to her knee, her smile just dopey enough to let Erin notice that she had been given a painkiller or two.

“Hey”, she smiled, moving to sit next to the bed, “how are you feeling?”

“Okay”, Holtzmann replied at once, then gestured at her leg, “sign my cast!”

“A bit later”, Erin told her, making her pout, “might not be a good idea right now. But I’m glad you’re okay.”

She bent over the bed to tenderly kiss the engineer, and felt a jolt at the contact which seemed to burn along her nervous system until it reached an area decidedly further south than her mouth; she scolded herself for this, telling herself that Holtz was high on painkillers and certainly in pain anyway and that they were in the hospital, so this was a bad idea…

…but she hadn’t got her release _again_ , and she still was dreadfully horny, finding herself unable to ignore the feeling.

“So how high on painkillers are you?” she asked conversationally, earning a shrug from the engineer before she let her know that she was aware enough to probably fix the proton packs without damage; then, Holtz wanted to know why Erin would ask that, smirking at the glint in Erin’s eyes in response.

“Oh, you know”, she said, still in that light tone, “just making sure I’m not about to do something shady here. But before that, I have to do something for your own safety.”

Holtzmann’s eyes nearly popped out of her head when Erin opened her belt and pulled it out of the loops; she let it happen that the physicist moved her girlfriend’s hands so they were over her head, then bound her wrists to the metal frame of the bed, the blonde breathing noticeably heavier by the time she was done.

“Why, Dr Gilbert”, she mumbled, eyes blazing, making Erin smile, “never knew you’re into that.”

“I’m full of surprises”, Erin mumbled, then silenced her by kissing her deeply and a bit roughly; Holtzmann kissed her back hungrily at once, gasping into her mouth when Erin’s hand slid beneath the hospital gown and cupped one breast, squeezing the nipple between thumb and index finger, the groan Holtz let out at that only turning the physicist on more.

“Enough foreplay”, Holtzmann panted once Erin had pulled back from the kiss for air, “remember, hospital. Not much time.”

“Uh-huh”, Erin let out, letting her hand glide back down, her eyebrow raising at the warm wetness she encountered between Holtzmann’s legs; and without allowing herself to think about what she was doing, she slipped her other hand inside her own pants, Holtzmann looking as if she wanted to faint on the spot at the sight.

When Holtz realized what Erin was doing, she groaned. “Why’d you save this kinkier side of yourself for when I was immobile? Or was that the plan all along?”

“Not really,” Erin breathed in-between nibbling on Holtzmann’s earlobe. “But I’ve had enough and if I have to get us both off at the same time, so be it.”

“Get on top of me Erin. Please.”

The physicist pulled her head away from Holtzmann’s face. “You have a broken leg Holtzy - with our luck I’ll break your other one if I try.”

“Gah,” Holtz squirmed as Erin began rubbing her clit in slow, deliberate circles. “Please babe. I want you to be close to me when I...we come.”

Erin nervously looked behind her, ensuring the door to the room was closed. She withdrew her hand from under Holtz’s gown (drawing a muffled grunt from the engineer) and her other hand from her pants and quietly pushed down the the bars on the side of the bed closest to her. She carefully balanced one knee on the bed and slowly positioned it in between Holtz’s legs, pulling the other up just next to her girlfriend’s uninjured one.

“I’d help you but I’m a little tied up at the moment.” Holtzmann winked.

Erin bent down at her hips so her arms rested on the pillows on either side of Holtz’s head.

“That’s unfortunate, because you’re not going to be able to stop what I’m going to do to you.”

She captured Holtzmann’s lips with her own as she made quick work of the button and fly of her pants and put her hand underneath her panties. When her middle finger rubbed against her clit, she gasped against Holtz’s lips.

“Shit Erin, I need you to touch me too.”

“Not yet,” Erin groaned, closing her eyes and throwing her head back as she stroked herself faster. “Watch me Holtz. God this feels so good…”

Holtzmann strained against the belt tying her hands together in an attempt to touch Erin, but the physicist leaned back on her knees, just out of reach. Her face inches away from her girlfriend’s, Erin slowly entered herself with one finger and visibly trembled.

Holtz licked her lips as she watched Erin’s face contort in pleasure.

“Please baby, don’t come without me. I need you so bad right now.”

Erin slowly opened her eyes to gaze into blue orbs that were hungrier for her than she’d ever seen.

“I’m so close Holtz. Jesus. Do you want to come with me? Are you ready to?”

“Fuck! Please Erin, just watching you right now, oh god. Please.”

The physicist leaned forward again and pressed her forehead against Holtz’s. She quickly undid the belt restraining Holtzmann with her free hand.

“Hold onto me. If your hands go below my shoulders I’ll stop. I’ll get myself off and leave the room and call the nurse.”

“Whatever you want, I’ll do whatever you want. Just…”

Holtzmann held up Erin’s shoulders as she trailed her free hand down the engineers torso and right through Holtz’s folds.

“OH GOD,” Holtz moaned through clenched teeth as Erin rubbed her clit in time with her own. Erin by now was rocking her hip against her girlfriend’s good leg as she pulled her finger out from inside herself and stroked her clit at a near frantic pace.

“Holtz, FUCK. I can’t, oh god…”

“Don’t stop baby, don’t fucking stop…”

Erin came first, dropping her head face first on the pillow next to Holtzmann’s ear, loudly gasping to the point she could barely catch her breath.

Hearing her girlfriend finally get off after days of frustration was enough to send Holtz over the edge as well. She arched her back off the bed, wrapping her hands in Erin’s hair as she came, tears pouring out of the corner of her eyes as she repeated her girlfriend’s name over and over again.

Erin collapsed on top of Holtzmann still moaning, as the engineer wrapped her arms around her torso, still coming down from the first orgasm she’d seemingly had in forever. Or at least the first one she could remember.

“Fuck baby. Oh god, that felt so good Erin.”

The physicist slowly pulled her hand from her pants, placing it flat on the bed next to Holtz’s shoulder so she could withdraw her hand from under the hospital gown. She made she sure to drag it across Holtzmann’s still sensitive clit as she did so, eliciting a strangled cry from the engineer.

“Underneath that tweed and those tiny bow-ties is a real vixen, eh?” Holtz looked up at her girlfriend with half-lidded eyes, both from the euphoria of finally coming and also from the painkillers that had fully kicked in.

Erin rolled off to the side of her girlfriend, wedging herself between the edge of the bed and Holtz’s still trembling body. She gently pushed the wayward curls off of her sweaty forehead.

“It’s a good thing they didn’t have you hooked up to a heart monitor. They would have called a code blue and we would’ve had half the medical staff as audience members.”

She angled her head to press her lips to Holtzmann’s. The two women were still languidly kissing one another when a nurse entered the room.

The nurse stood in the doorway, blinked and then quietly turned around and left, the door slowly closing behind her.

As she headed back to the nursing station, she spotted Abby and Patty making their way down the hallway, having just been given clearance by the doctor to go back to see their friend.

“Are you here to see Jillian Holtzmann?” the nurse called out to them.

“Yeah,” Abby said as the two women stopped just short of the closed door to Holtz’s room. “Is everything ok?”

The nurse smirked slightly.

“Give them five more minutes.”

Patty and Abby turned to one another.

“Oh sweet Jesus they didn’t.”

Patty snickered. “It took Holtzy breaking her leg for the two of them to finally get off. In the hospital! Lord, they’re both going to hell. Let’s go to the cafeteria Abby. I need chocolate.”

Behind the door Holtzmann was nearly asleep on Erin’s shoulder, who was rubbing the engineer’s back in slow circles.

“Love you Gilbert,” Holtz mumbled.

Erin kissed the top of Holtzmann’s head.

“Love you too goofus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooooo it's maschinenmensch.
> 
> I don't think either of us thought that after some offhand comment I made one day when we were both bored at work would end up in hours of chatting on Tumblr (those chat logs need to be burned, they are so wrong), countless emails since we live a continent apart, and nearly 25K words of the most ridiculous fic we've probably both ever written. But we had a helluva lot of fun, and I hope most of you did too.
> 
> You can find both of us on Tumblr (where we're most likely chatting with one another trying to make the other one break at work) at geekmisconduct and dreamshapers-universe.
> 
> THE END.
> 
> (or is it...)
> 
> *cackles*


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